.canoe americana?

Year End Wrap Up

2011-12-30T21:57:00.003-06:00

Obviously we've been a little busy, but after a day of naps, stomach bug and more rest I'm ready to update this blog with some photos. We sent two suitcases with John and it feels good to know that yes, we're one step closer to going. In the last month we've tied up a lot of details, like packing and cleaning the house, selling the house, spending a lot of time (but not enough) with family.

I'm realizing that it won't feel real until we're in Jerusalem. Even with all the change, it's hard to believe we'll be halfway around the world in six and a half weeks. But I'll get there... literally and figuratively. Ha!

Practicing her dreidel skills. Next year it will be pei instead of sham.

Blake Family Tradition requires Tom to try to be taller than his brothers in family photos. He is jumping in this photo. And Harrison's doing a pretty good job giving him a run for his money.

Mima reading about the meaning of Christmas and the ramifications of Jesus coming. Baruch Haba B'Shem Adonai.

Christmas with the Franzes. Considerably smaller, but just as cute.

Can you tell Cassidy is excited about moving? That's her new carry-on from Rachey and EJ. She named it RJ, for Rachey & EJ. Conveniently it's the abbreviation for Remember Jerusalem, as well. Some things were meant to be.

Cousin Lovin'. There's not much more that can be said.

And some serious Christmas dancing. Enjoy!

A few more days and Tom will be in Israel. We're praying things go well with his travel, meeting various people throughout the country, and home-hunting. Love to you all, near and far.

Grace Before Meals...at preschool

2011-11-26T21:39:00.001-06:00

Here's a cute video from Cassidy's Thanksgiving feast at preschool. I love hearing her sing, but as I watch this I can't help but look past her to the little boy on the other side of the table. His name is Joshua and he reminds me so much of our little Wy-guy. It's this strange physical reminder that Wyatt is gone. Yet Cassidy is such a joy and we're blessed she's in this class with Noah. They love each other so much.

On the road

2011-11-14T14:39:00.001-06:00

Some of the best conversations happen over the open road. This last week I got to ride with little Hadassah in the back of the van, and she gabbed my ear off. She knew she had a captive audience. She had been talking for a while before I decided I should get my camera out. And she didn't stop once I turned it off. Sorry it's not much to look at, but her little voice is so enjoyable.

Her vocab is a little limited (she's only 18 months) but she's quite the mimicker. She kept talking about her shoes (shocker!) and we couldn't find them. And then we did.

Little Miss Cassidy spent the week exploring silly puddy and all it's fun possibilities. I couldn't resist getting it on camera -- watch how she helps roll the puddy with her mouth.

Birthday without the Boy

2011-11-07T21:02:00.001-06:00

A few weeks ago I asked Cassidy what she wanted to do for Wyatt's birthday. It's become our family tradition to get books for the boys' birthdays, both earthly and heavenly. We wrap them up and put them on the dining room table, like we used to when Wyatt was still here. It's a nice, simple tradition, that always reminds me of the birthday morning when they both woke up and Wyatt said, "Look Cassie! Balloons!" He said it over and over, I could hear the excitement in his voice as I laid in bed.

Waiting for her response I could see the wheels spinning in her little mind, trying to think of something we could do, something extraordinary (and more fun than going to the grave). Then, as though it was the most brilliant idea ever, she said, "Let's go to Chuck E. Cheese!"

About two months ago Tom took her there on a special date night and she loved it. So much so, that when her teacher asked the class what their favorite thing was, she answered "Chuck E. Cheese". When she told me that's what she wanted to do for Wyatt's birthday I tucked it away, not revealing that I also thought this was a good idea. When November 4th rolled around she was surprised to find out that we were going to see the big mouse, with Maasen (double bonus).

She played almost every game but only once. After she accomplished that she was ready to go. It was sad to be there without the boys, and the curiosity will always be there about how the three of them would interact as siblings. But celebrating Wyatt's life at Chuck E. Cheese, without him, reminds me of one thing -- Cassidy keeps our hearts full of love and laughter.

A few words

2011-11-04T01:01:00.001-05:00

...about my husband. People send cards to women, but very often to men. I don't know why this is, and admit I might be guilty of it myself. On days of remembrance this seems especially true. That being said, today I want to tell you about the man Tom Blake is. Or at least who he has been the last 6 years. I think Tom's smile changed the day Wyatt was born:

People told him they were curious to see him as a father. As an adventurer I think some were skeptical he would settle down and parent, responsibly. He did go on a canoe trip 5 days before Wyatt arrived. But as soon as that little boy appeared Tom has been a compassionate, tender,wise and hilarious father. And though the memories and photographs still sting, I am grateful for November 4th, 2005, and the way it changed our lives forever.

As a husband Tom continually tells me how great I am at mothering; he thanks me for what I do. When he was in the middle of full-time painting he would come home exhausted to the beautiful screams of Wyatt and Cassie, "PAPA!" He would immediately chase them into the bedroom and bounce and wrestle with them on the bed. He is never too busy to play, especially with his kids. And though it hurts his heart a bit he still bounces and wrestles with Cassidy.

And he teaches too. He used the holidays to show the children about G-d and His Word and how it should impact our hearts and our lives. Wyatt knew about the importance of the Word and when Tom would get passionate about a topic with friends Wyatt would run to his room and get his Bible so he could participate. Tom read to Wyatt and Cassidy the night Wyatt went with Jesus. Wyatt was primed to encounter the L-rd because of the way Tom fathered him.

In the last two years Tom has continued to be my rock and my safe place. Because of the way he's endured this pain I've been able to see the L-rd as a loving and safe place once again. Instead of getting angry he turned to the only place that held truth and in turn G-d has rewarded him with an open door to develop his gifting as a teacher. A while ago he told me that he doesn't feel like he's received healing, but rather the Word of God and studying has brought him hope. It feels right; the scars are still there, closed but still present, and some days they hurt more than others. On a day like today we weep for the separation but rejoice in the little life we shared together. Our firstborn, Wyatt William.

Thank you, Thomas, for being Wyatt's Buddy Best Friend.

It's Sukkah Time, Ya'll

2011-10-13T15:20:00.000-05:00

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a gentile, but there is something inside me (can we say, Holy Spirit?) that loves the festivals. Especially the ones in Autumn. Take Sukkot: the leaves are changing and falling, we've had our windows open for weeks and it's time to eat! This year I'm engaging in the Feast of Tabernacles at a different level.

Cassidy and I ate lunch in the sukkah today. I brought the iTouch and played some Paul Wilbur, and we ate and talked and danced. It was marvelous. I shared with her how exciting it is to prepare for the Real Deal, when Jesus returns and we get to eat a rich, delicious meal with the Messiah, and our boys. As we wait for that time I can feel the anticipation grow in my chest. It's not just a story I tell her, or myself, but it's true. Part of the portion for this week is Zechariah 14:1-21 which tells of His return. He will stand on the Mount of Olives and He will be the physical Light of the World. It's a powerful passage and I recommend you read it. Perhaps read it in the sukkah, knowing that one day we'll all build booths to eat and rejoice in together.

Ours is a bit sparse, but every year it gets better and this year I am especially excited about the Japanese Maple branches on the top and the decoration Cassidy and I made together for the front.

In Hebrew it says Moadim L'Simcha, Times of Joy. This is a time when we no longer dwell on our sin and shame but rejoice that He has redeemed us. One day we will be united with Him, and those that have gone before us, for the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. I pray you won't miss it.

If you're interested in the portion readings, I post them weekly on www.remember-jerusalem.org on the left sidebar. We are finishing out the year so next week starts a whole new cycle. Join us, and people all over the world, who study the same portion of scripture every week, like Jesus did!

Look out PBS

2011-10-03T16:03:00.001-05:00

Maybe this is how Mr. Rogers got started.

Cassidy's Camera Time

2011-09-14T20:42:00.000-05:00

Cassidy took the camera for a few moments and photographed points of interest. In her words...

"I wanted to do the chair because I just like taking pictures and I just wanted to take a
picture of the rocking chair, that's why."

"Your pants, um skirt. Your skirt, I just took a picture of. That's just why."

"The doggie I did for, I like it. I did it because I really like. Dogs are fun. Smile."

"I did it because I just thought about taking it, that's why."

"I did it because I like flowers and flowers are pretty. I just love flowers. Smile, spell smile."

"I like tigers and I just wanted to do tigers. So I just took a picture of it."

And here she is, the artist herself. Pretty good self portrait. "I like smiling."

She kept telling me to write the word "smile" at the end; I'm not sure what that's about. But this is how she sees her life. If only I could be a fly on the wall at school...

Butterfly Time

2011-09-13T21:45:00.001-05:00

Last summer Big Cassie gave little Cassie a chrysalis that was getting ready to become a Monarch butterfly. As I remember it was actually for Wyatt and Cassidy, since he would love the orange color, but he wasn't around to see it emerge.

Sidenote: Just recently, because of the Gospel Portion, I shared with Little Cassie about how the butterfly represents resurrection. I showed her the picture of Lazarus in her Bible, when he is all wrapped up. It was the perfect illustration of the caterpillar being "wrapped up" and then emerging as a butterfly into new life, like Lazarus did, and like Wyatt and Zeke.

Although we didn't make it to the Monarch Watch event this weekend Big Cassie brought us a chrysalis again. We strung it up on the stick and watched it dangle, as it gave us a sneak preview of its contents.

Last night I was certain the little butterfly would come out, and sure enough when I walked into the kitchen this morning it was clinging to the string, it's wings not full size and it's body spotted and fat.

Slowly throughout the day it grew and stretched and hopped about. Finally this afternoon we felt it was ready to go outside. I opened the front door and it flew away, up into the treetops and Cassidy said, "It's beautiful." It truly is. Thanks for sharing, Big Cass.

And since BC requested it, here's the video of Cassidy and her butterfly last year. I am so glad I caught this on film.

Something else that's beautiful: how much Cassidy loves this guy. Thanks for sharing him, Big Cass.

2011-09-09T16:27:00.003-05:00

Hate to hassle you all, but we're getting ready to send out an e-mail newsletter for Remember Jerusalem (it's super cool) and I don't want to send it to everyone on my contact list. Well, really I do, but I don't feel right about sending you e-mails if you really don't want to read them. I know how In-Boxes fill up. So please, if you're interested contact me at leah@remember-jerusalem.org. And for those of you that did send a response already, THANK YOU!

First Day of School

2011-09-06T14:10:00.001-05:00

Life is filled with sweet moments, and this one was bittersweet. Cassidy went to her first day of Pre-School today and I cried. I remember leaving my mom to go to school. She was my best friend and I didn't want to go without her, and even up through the years it always made me a little sad to know she was home by herself. What would she do without me?! Well Cassidy didn't have any of that worry; she was giddy with excitement about the first day of school, and Miss Anne, and the playground.

But this is the same school that Wyatt was supposed to attend last year and not having those memories with him is sad. I can imagine how excited he would be for her, I can hear his little voice, "Cassie you get to go to school like me!" And he would tell her all about the playground and teachers and activities. This morning at breakfast we talked about school, about making friends and obeying Miss Anne. And about how proud Wyatt is of her for being brave and smart. She was filled with anticipation for the adventure. Can't you tell?

She is in class with Noah; there are four girls and five boys, and she's already making friends. Miss Anne has a sweet spirit and we are thankful she is their teacher. I am excited for Cassie to have some structed learning time and interaction with lots of little kids. The yellow room has animals and play-dough and lots of toys so I know she will have a lot of fun with Noah and the other kids.

While the kids were in school Lauren and I got coffee and Tom had breakfast with his mom. At 11:30 we showed up at school and all the kids were outside playing. Cass would have stayed all day if we let her, but when it was time to go she gave Miss Anne a hug and grabbed her little yellow bag and headed out. When Tom asked her what she did at school the first thing she mentioned was the snack. That's my girl!

These two will have a great time in the yellow room and will learn so much about being big kids. I know they will have a good influence on each other and the other kids. They will enjoy every minute of Pre-school, but let's be honest, I'm glad she's home now...

Remember Jerusalem

2011-08-31T13:19:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone! We are officially going for it -- our dream of going to Israel is becoming a reality. We sent out letters to everyone we have addresses for, so if you didn't get one and want one e-mail me at leah@remember-jerusalem.org. If you want e-mail updates and newsletters, e-mail me too.

And please check out our website: www.remember-jerusalem.org

Blessings and Shalom!

Grocery Shopping with Cassidy

2011-08-27T06:59:00.001-05:00

Turn up your volume...

This is what happens when the Boss is rocking over the loud speakers and I'm taking too long to pick out deoderant.

Mama's Birthday

2011-08-17T13:03:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my Mama's birthday. This photo was taken two years ago on her birthday.

At that time we were still adjusting to the absence of Aunt Ann, my mom's only sibling, her best friend and really the only aunt I've known. The kids called her Great Auntie Ann. Ezekiel was a wonderful little gift that we found out about shortly after Ann went to the L-rd. I secretly hoped he would be born on her birthday, August 24th, but I was just as thrilled that he came on Lauren's birthday. I know my mom was happy to have him here for her birthday.

As the mother of four she spends a lot of time nurturing us, taking care of every little need, encouraging and praying for us. She packed our lunches every day and came to every event we ever had -- school plays, softball, baseball, basketball and football games, drill team performances, recitals, musicals. She's been married to the same wonderful man for over 40 years and has modeled service and love every day. I am blessed to call her Mama. I still call her on bad days, or when I'm sick, or a need a break. We cry together and laugh together. I think she used my age as an excuse to keep me out of kindergarten for a year so we could hang out more. I'm glad she did.

The L-rd has said that she has His heart, that she loves her children and grandchildren deeply and He loves that about her. I love that about her too.

Happy Birthday, Mama! You're my favorite mama.

August 14th

2011-08-14T17:16:00.000-05:00

Today is Zeke's 2nd birthday. This is the present the L-rd gave me:

This is the Gerber daisy I got for Mother's Day, just before Wyatt went to Heaven. It over-wintered just fine, it remained leafy and green. When I put it out on the front porch this summer some critter ate it down to almost nothing. I was very upset that this plant might not make it. By the grace of G-d and His nurturing it survived. I have been waiting for a few weeks, watching three blooms develop and then this one started to get taller than the others. Never did I imagine that it would fully bloom today. But that is the way of the Creator. It's a little something special only He could do. I am thankful.

Friends

2011-08-04T22:51:00.001-05:00

If you read Lauren's blog then you already know that the famous JBlakes were in town. It was a weekend-long extravaganza, and we wish it never ended. But they went back to Frisco and we're left with some good memories. On Tuesday we went to Pump It Up, thanks to Mimi's groupon skills. This is the first time Cassidy has been to an inflatable jump place since the "incident" and I'm thankful it's over and she's fine. She was a little skiddish, but not in the moonwalk (although I was watching like a hawk). She didn't really enjoy going solo down the slides. There were several instances when Uncle Paul or Harrison had to rescue her. I used this as opportunity to talk about needing rescuing, so it worked out, but at the time it was a bit of a hassle. With that said, here is Uncle Paul saving little Cass while taking Dassah down. What a guy.

Upon Completion

2011-07-26T14:22:00.002-05:00

We are nearing the finish line with Tom's thesis on the New Covenant and it is wonderful. I love that he put together articulately so many things we've journeyed through in the last few years. I hope you all look forward to reading it, because it's worth it!

AND... we are also getting ready to launch our new blog for our ministry, Remember Jerusalem. Perhaps you haven't heard (and if you haven't you might want to check your connections, since news typically travels FAST) but we are planning on spending some time in Israel to become equipped for what the L-rd wants for us. "Some time" means a year, methinks, perhaps a little longer. Whatever it turns out to be we are thrilled to be moving into this new season. The L-rd is faithful and the idea of us partnering as Gentiles with Jews lights a fire within both of us. We are in the final stages of setting up our non-profit ministry and could really use some serious prayer that this moves quickly and according to G-d's plan. It seems a little out there, but we are still praying about leaving this fall, perhaps September/October. If it doesn't happen by then we know that January is our launching time. Again, we need one small push in the direction of finalization and then we're full speed ahead.

I know, lots of you are thinking, "Oh my goodness! When did this happen?" Well, rest assured there will be more details, here and on the new blog, so check back. We will keep it very updated on our lives and our learnings. We are excited about what G-d is doing; it's a dramatic move on His part and it renews our hope every day. Thank you for your prayers for our lives. We know He is at work in part because of your intercession.

Now go enjoy the heat. Unless you live in one of those cool places...Don't worry, we're sweating for you.

Swimmy, swammy, swummy

2011-07-20T17:46:00.002-05:00

We are swimming a lot, specifically at Gigi and Papo's and Keith and Jeremy's. Little is doing an amazing job, advancing every time we go. Keith's is particularly great because a good portion of the actual pool is shallow enough that she can stand in it. This perpetuates her wanting to go without her vest, and to even go under on her own quite a bit. I am proud of her courage and excitement. Now we will tackle actual swimming.

You would think after that first paragraph this would be a post with pictures and video of Cassidy in the pool. It isn't (sorry, Maasen). Usually I am in the water with her so I don't have my camera handy. One day I will capture it. What really needs to be shared is the things the grown-ups are doing in the pool. I wish I had footage of Sam and EJ going off the diving board in the shapes of letters, but I don't. What I do have is evidence of fully grown men and women riding an inflatable children's turtle (or "tadah", as Eliana calls it).

After a fun night of Israeli folk dancing we decided to jump in the pool. Some people (Kait and Bailey) didn't have suits and sat out until it became too tempting. And Kait, so brave, gave in to the urge to join us in the pool, and hopped onto Snappy the Turtle. How long could she last, she wondered. Less than a minute, Bailey speculated. Turned out it was 46 seconds, but Kait went in smiling.

Right before she got bucked

Tom took on the turtle, too. And lost.

And this is Keith's second attempt that night. The first time he

immediately toppled over the turtle's head and into the water.

We had to get Little to bed before the fun was over, but I heard Kait and Cristina rode Snappy at the same time. Keith made a wise investment in that there toy. Thanks for having us over, boys!

To prove I'm back to posting

2011-07-18T23:50:00.001-05:00

Last week's post wasn't a tease, I really am here to stay. A little bit more of the randomness of summer, but all points worth sharing.

Matt and his missus rocking Jack's little sister's scooter

Because sweat is gross

Summer reading for Keith and the girls

Date night

Happy Birthday, Mira!

Little kids bowling is hilarious...

2011-07-13T17:52:00.000-05:00

Go USA! In the last few weeks we've watched the United States women's soccer team take on some fierce competition and now... we're in the finals! Going over to Susan's to watch the tournament is a highlight for our whole family. Keith and the Andersons round out the group and we usually get to celebrate the victories with some yummy, yet random meals. Thanks Susan (and MDBs) for opening your homes to us so we can cheer on the girls. Looking forward to Sunday's game against Japan.

What did Mama Tomato say to her slow-poke child?

2011-07-10T23:37:00.002-05:00

I apologize for the absence. May ran away, as I figured it would and then June went in a similar, dramatic and busy way. So I will give you snippets of what has been going on in the Tblake household, not necessarily in any particular order.

We grew one of Cassie's favorite vegetables in our front yard.

We travelled to Baltimore with Kait and Jessica.

At the end of May we loaded up the van and took a great road trip out East for a refreshing convention. Tikkun International is an organization focused on bringing together Jews and Gentiles that love Jesus. They are a breath of fresh air for us and the conference itself was a time of renewal and excitement. We drove 19 hours to get to Baltimore and it was worth it. We also spent some wonderful time hanging out with Kait and Jessica, two incredible women. Thanks, ladies, for making the drive so much easier!

Cassidy and I added some new states to our growing list of adventures.

This might be the highlight of the trip for Cassidy -- a fridge just her size, like Maasen's!

We stayed at the same hotel as the Oscar Mayer weiner-mobile.

I spent some special time with my beautiful and hilarious neices.

And some fun time with my nephew, and his muscles

She loves to love on her papa,
even rubbing his shoulders to help him relax.

Now this feels good.

That's us: Wild and Wonderful

Who doesn't love a good Pixar movie with a friend?

When we got home Cass had a strange fever, but
thankfully it didn't turn into vomiting, like it did in May.

I suppose I forgot to tell you about the flu that went around in May. The leader of Tikkun Int'l came in town to speak to our congregation in the middle of May, but right before he arrived Dassah and Noah got sick. Then Lauren got sick, and her parents, and Cassidy. It was like dominoes. Just when one got better another one started throwing up. Cassidy was a trooper, even though she kept waking up and vomiting. Thankfully it only lasted 24 hours or so, but it sure reminded us that sometimes being a close family can get you into a mess.

And I got a new computer!

Tom surprised me with an early birthday present, that is actually birthday, mother's day, and anniversary all rolled into one. I am VERY thankful for this computer. Now I have an "a" key, the right and left clicks work, and I don't have to be plugged in all the time. Thanks to Eric it's incredibly fast and super clean. A month later I still turn it on and smile. Having something this nice is a bit overwhelming, and I am so thankful.

Gazania. It's really called a gazania.

And here enters the drama of gardening without a dog. We never had trouble with critters when Yuma was around, but now that she's off to new adventures in Missouri we have animals eating everything. Nibbling our strawberries, digging in our newly potted plants, and snapping the heads off our flowers. No kidding, just like Little Bunny Foo-Foo, some animal comes around and pops the heads off of my flowers. Doesn't eat them or anything practical, just snaps them off. I had to take this picture to remember how beautiful these flowers are. This was early June, and since then the flowers have expanded and survived, but the varmits still dig in the pot occassionally.

Artist in the making.

Big Cassie has been so great to encourage Cassidy to do more artistic things and she has started to embrace this side of herself. She gets up almost every morning and colors or paints by herself. She got these neat stained glass window pages from Lily and Mira for her birthday and I think in two weeks she colored every page. It's fun to see her mind process through how things should look: the difference between eyes and ears, how Tom and I look different, even practicing letters, shapes and numbers. She is growing up and changing so much.

Hope this whets your whistles. Things of more depth are sure to come. (Please forgive me if there are typos in the post, I'm still getting used to this fancy keyboard.)

Welcome Home

2011-06-25T14:17:00.001-05:00

James Edward Sorell, 35, entered the Lord’s eternal freedom Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at St. Joseph Hospital in Kansas City MO, after a courageous nine year battle with cancer.

James was born in Iowa City, Iowa on May 8, 1976. James graduated from Manhattan High School in 1995. He obtained a degree in Family and Consumer Science from Kansas State University and two months later, married Sarah Franz on July 3, 1999. While he was employed by Bank of America, James attended Midwest Baptist Theological Seminary, receiving a Master of Divinity in 2004. That same year, James and Sarah welcomed their daughter Abigail Joy and in 2008 their son, Asher James. Throughout his journey James relied upon his trust in God and Jesus’ grace. He continually encouraged others and pursued a deeper relationship with the Lord, even as his pain increased. A firm believer in community and discipleship, he was a true follower of Jesus.

James is survived by his wife Sarah, and their children Abbie and Asher; his mother and step-father Cindy and Rick Dempster; his father and step-mother, Brian and Colette Sorell; his siblings and their spouses, his twin Jason and Holly Sorell; Melissa and Jerry Shinkle, Matthew and Fiord Sorell; Rachel and Derek Bembry; John, Becca, Richard, Sarah and Sam Dempster; and Danielle and Ryan Sorell; his grandmother Bonnie Beardsley, grandmother Catherine Derowitsch; as well as nine nieces and nephews.

James is now reunited in heaven with many beloved family members including his grandparents Bill
Derowitsch, Phyllis and Don Sorell; Aunt Ann Furrow; and his nephews, Wyatt and Ezekiel Blake.

We will celebrate his life at 3 p.m. on Sunday, June 26, 2011 at Christ Community Church, 14200 Kenneth Road, Leawood, KS, 66224. In lieu of flowers, please send tax deductible contributions to Christ Community Church, which will provide financial scholarships and support for people in Christian ministry.

Yom HaShoah

2011-05-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

I am a little late on this, but Sunday was Holocaust Rememberence Day. Here is a video worth watching, to remember.

Coffee Down South with Master Syphoner Dean

2011-04-15T23:58:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Groupon we headed down to the Roasterie in Leawood tonight. I purchased the Groupon thinking we had to spend all of the money at once and we would therefore do one of their fancy syphon coffees. Low and behold, they gave us a gift card for our remaining balance, and let me tell you, we will be returning. We still have money there!

It was a fun outing because a) we were with friends, and b) we love letting employees (especially baristas) know we appreciate what they do. Sidenote: Did you know that at Costco you can leave comments about the employees and if they get praise for their service they get a free slice of pizza? You should try it sometime and make someone's day. Also, I've found the employees at Costco are incredibly friendly. I've switched from using the self-check out because they are ridiculously fast and very nice. I like talking to strangers...

Anywho, back to the Roasterie. Big Cassie and I had the Costa Rican Peaberry Candellia. We watched the whole process like we had never seen coffee brewed before. And in fact, I had never seen it done this way.

Master Dean getting his pour on

Quite the scientific set-up, eh? Is that
a Bunson burner?

Ooh La La

An even pour, almost

We thoroughly enjoyed our coffee experience and oohed and ahed over the process. There were some kid items for Cassidy to occupy herself with while we inspected the syphoning. She is such a trooper; it was past her bedtime but it didn't matter to her as long as she had some snacks and a creative outlet.

Coffee shop aficianado

While we sat around sipping our drinks Dean brought out a coffee mug he wanted to share with us. He told us he collects coffee mugs and this one detailed the women's movement to outlaw coffee in the 1600's. It was truly hilarious to hear how the women talked about the troubles of coffee. To describe it would be an injustice. And then Dean brought out the counterpart to the "women hate coffee" mug, the men's argument to why it is so beneficial to drink it. Let's just say the perks were hilarious and I am sure Tom and Sam will share if questioned.

Note the puzzled look on their faces: Coffee bad?

When it was all said and done I decided this would be a great way to get tea drinkers (ahem, you know who you are) into coffee. The flavor was light but full. Cassie described it as a good evening coffee experience. No bitterness, no thickness. Smooth and delicious. Well worth the drive. Thanks Groupon.

And just in case you might be a coffee geek here's a video to show you what we gathered 'round to observe. Notice the bubbles at the end!

Shabbat Shalom, ya'll!

2011-04-06T23:11:00.001-05:00

Have you ever talked with someone that you hadn't spoken with in a week or so and they ask, "What have you been up to?"

This happened several times in the last few days and I know I've been doing stuff, but not much to really talk about. Or to post about, as seen by my lack of posting and updating the photo of the day. In fact, I'm missing a few days there. I think I must have been doing a lot and I didn't take time to realize what I was living through. But again, not much of it seems noteworthy. However, I will post some photographs of the day-to-day on Mastin Street.

I've emerged from the cloud and if someone could tell me what I've been doing the last week that would be really helpful.

little chef

this never gets old

just like olivia in venice

big enough bite?

gelato padre

another round of old maid

planting little rose moss seeds

Unka Joe

2011-03-28T22:12:00.000-05:00

My brother has been in town the last month and we've had some good time hanging out. We were all blown away by his skills on the slopes; he's learned a thing or two skiing the Alps. But at least one thing remains the same about Unka Joe. He's a great gifter. This time out he took Cassidy to Toys R Us and she ended up walking out with Bride Barbie and Groom Ken, as well as outfits that transform Barbie into a nurse and an ice skater. Ken, well, he got a track suit. A turquoise track suit.

I have spent the last day and a half using my "Ken" voice and telling Barbie how much I love her. Over and over again. Occasionally they change clothes and one of them is sick, or they go out to eat. Cass is using her little doll house (that Joe gave her when she turned two, I think) for the newlyweds, but it's no Dream House. A bit small. I hope this week we can make it over to my moms and find some of my old Barbies. I enjoyed many years with those girls and look forward to getting another girl so I can use a different voice.

It was nice to see Joe, to spend some chill out time with him in Colorado. Growing up I looked up to him as every little sister should and I'm thankful the L-RD gave me such a loving brother. Now that I think about it he set the ideal in my mind for an intelligent athlete. My brother is the smartest guy I know, and he played football at Nebraska. Our personalities are kind of similar and I know he and Wyatt would have been bosom buddies. I pray Cassidy gets to spend good time with him in the future, he gets rather silly around giggly girls. And he gives good hugs. We love you, Joe. Thanks for being a wonderful big brother.

Purim Spectacular

2011-03-27T00:20:00.000-05:00

It's been a week, but what a week it's been. Very busy, recovering from Colorado and Purim, visiting with friends, getting the cast off and seeing Toy Story on Ice. I took a nice nap this afternoon and I'm ready to catch you up...

Queen Esther, Butterfly, and Zoro
(or the Dread Pirate Roberts)

Maasen as Paul Blake. The other day Paul
walked up to his office and I almost didn't
recognize him without his visor...

A Queen puts out a lot of fires;
good thing she has a trustworthy cousin.

Check out the footwear.

Seriously? Incredible.

FASTER!

Then Cass got a package from MeMe in Florida and boy was she excited. Thank you MeMe for blessing Little Cass. She is excited about it all! We've done the puzzle several times, and she saves the princess pieces for herself and makes me and Maasen put together the pieces that have the prince on them.

See the determination?

The perfect puzzle for Cassidy!

Wednesday night we sat down to do Bible Study. Cassidy had her Bibles and notes and wanted to discuss Moses. Unfortunately we were finishing up Habakkuk, so our conversation was a little confusing. After gleaning all she could from us she excused herself from the table and went off to her room. About ten minutes later she appeared in this. She changed out of her clothes and put on, from head to toe: her new tiara, her very own pink(!) KU shirt, her new princess skirt, pink camo sweats and one fancy shoe. Priceless. I love this girl's sense of style.

And the highlight of the week: they took off her cast! We drove down to Children's Mercy which was not the highlight (thank you for your prayers), and waited our turn. When we got to the room Cass was completely calm. The nurse showed her the saw and then proceeded to cut up both sides of her foot and leg. Not a tear or a squirm, even though I'm sure it tickled her little foot. Then as soon as it was off she let the waterworks loose. She has been so brave this whole time, I think it was a release of stress.

We talked to the doctor, who informed us that after looking at the x-ray he could see the break went all the way through the tibia. He could see this because new bone was forming in the break. He said it might be a week before she'd walk on it, but she's been doing great since then. It's a bit weak, and sometimes she's a little hesitant, but she walks around quite a bit, determined to be the active girls we know. We are very proud of how brave and patient she has been this whole time. Now we pray for perfect healing, just as the L-RD designed her leg.

The banjo on her knee

Thanks for catching up with me. I love you all and I'm thankful to have you in my life. Maybe we can get coffee sometime...

2011-03-22T22:24:00.001-05:00

Sunday morning we visited Family Tree Nursery in Overland Park for their Spring Open House. Big Cass has been preparing for this the last two months and we were excited to visit her place of business, once again.

Seeing this photograph reminds me of planting the garden last year. The kids helped me plant the carrot seeds. Wyatt was not interested in getting his hands dirty but Cass jumped right in.

I wonder how many times BC had to say, "Do you want white, light purple or dark purple?" I'm glad LC went with the light purple; it's very pretty.

Then she decorated a cup (styrofoam!) and with the help of Jessica and another lady she planted some grass. Supposedly it will shoot up in a few days.

The highlight (for me anyway) was having her face painted. This was such a fun little deal, especially since we were preparing for Purim that evening. Cass sat so still, as if she had a lot of practice at putting on make-up. The artist had a photograph of her son painted as a leopard. Last spring when Wyatt was learning about big cats I thought he would be a cheetah for Purim. We could paint the lines that run from the eyes to the mouth, a distinct cheetah characteristic and he could prowl around on all fours.

She was proud of her face paint and it stayed on quite well through her nap.

She finally pooped out at the end and I sat her down with some popcorn while Jessica got some pots for her growing garden. It's a lot of work to carry her around in that cast, I can't imagine how much work it is for her to walk. Thursday we go back to the doctor and I'm praying everything has healed well.

Wrapping Up

2011-03-21T16:20:00.000-05:00

My brilliant mother brought Play-Dough along on the trip and the girls played with it every day. The kitchen had a "breakfast nook" off to the side and they enjoyed having their own space to be creative.

Even though Cass looks like she's in a saloon with that long glove on, I promise it's just a friendly game of "Go Fish" with Aunt Rachey. Friendly, as long as Cassie wins.

Unka Joe read "Olivia Goes to Venice" to Cassidy and taught her some Italian. She mostly cares about the word "gelato", which Olivia and her family eat a lot of in the story.

Then we made our way home again. Since our honeymoon this has been the standard pose for Tom. I don't have a lot of photos of just him, but I probably have half a dozen in this pose. With these glasses. But remarkably not this shirt, it's pretty new.

Cassidy is a great traveller. She enjoyed the moutain view on the way down but once we hit Denver her ears started hurting. I am pleased to say that was the only hitch on the whole trip, no big problems with her belly or her leg. She even took a nap.

We even got to see Sam on the way home.

Stay tuned for Sam in another disguise...

Winter Park

2011-03-17T17:36:00.001-05:00

As I promised, some video and some sweet photographs of Joe and E.J. in the terrain park. Wednesday was incredibly warm and even though it was Spring Break the lines for the lifts weren't long at all. The most exciting thing for me was getting to ski with Tom. This was his second time skiing, ever, and the first time was at least 15 years ago. He picked it up fast and we moved to blues and even did a blue/black that morning. The scenery was beautiful, and the snow was fairly good for such a warm March, but by far the highlight was being on the mountain with my honey.

The Franz siblings weren't complete, but Sarah's board and boots were representing. Thanks, Bear!

In honor of the NCAA tournament here are E.J. and Joe with their versions of hang time:

E.J. in the Terrain Park

E.J. getting serious air

The second jump for E.J.

Joe's first air in the Terrain Park

Joe had a lot of speed going into the second jump,
and a lot of air

Here is one of Tom's first runs, which I found remarkable. I'm so proud of my soccer-playing honey. Skiis are a weird thing to have attached to your feet, especially the fancy ones Joel let him borrow. He wanted to get better so he asked Rachel for tips, and I'm sure if we go out tomorrow he'll be even better.

This is Mary Jane, one of my favorite runs. The first guy down the hill in the bright blue is Euro Joe, super fast! Then comes Rachel in green with great technique and then comes Thomas. I love this video because it shows different levels of skills. Joe skis the Alps and Rachel skis the Rockies all season long, so try to remember that when you watch the video.

Spring Break 2011

2011-03-15T14:55:00.000-05:00

We drove out to Winter Park yesterday. This town is a special place for the Franz family. We vacationed here just about every year, Winter and Summer. The 12 hour drive was long and I vividly remember sleeping in some awkward positions, but the discomfort was always worth the adventure. We are blessed this year to spend a very inexpenisive time out here with my parents, Uncle Jack, Uncle Joe and Rachey and EJ and Abbie.

Cass was a trooper the whole way here, but she got anxious as the sun set and we still weren't "in Colorado". By that she meant she was still in the car and it was too dark to see the mountains. The pass was snowy and slow-going but we got here evenutally (thanks to Tom's patience) and it's beautiful. Just a few shots from the trip:

She was overjoyed at the ring pop. She kept
asking me to take pictures of her red tongue.

Her thumb eventually turned red from sucking
it after the ring pop.

There was so much fog it was hard to see one of our
favorite sites of the trip.

The weather cleared up the further west we went
but the wind turbines weren't spinning. Malfunction
at the Hub Station, I suppose.

I got Fun Dip at this gas station stop.

Tom and I plan on hitting the slopes tomorrow, and I will definitely keep you updated on that adventure.

2011-03-07T22:29:00.000-06:00

In case you haven't read Jessica's blog lately (http://withsufficientgrace.blogspot.com/), here's the update.

Tuesday afternoon Cassidy went to play with her cousins Abbie and Asher at Leaping Lizards with our friend Marjorie. About an hour into the playing I got a call from Marjorie saying Cass got hurt and wanted me. Apparently a larger kid ran into Cass in the moonwalk. When I got there she was still crying and upset and I wondered how much crying was due to injury and how much was due to a minimal nap. Anywho, I took her home and sat her on the couch. And there she stayed for the next two days.

I tried to get her to walk a little bit, thinking perhaps she was overreacting and milking the pampered lifestyle. She would scream and cry with every step. It became ridiculous and I asked Jess to come and take a look. There was no major swelling or bruising on her leg but her knee definitely hurt. After working through the details we decided to take her to Children's Mercy South where they have 24-hour Urgent Care.

When they say "urgent" they mean they address your issue according to how urgent it is. Cass wasn't in any pain so we waited a long time before getting anywhere. But once it was all said and done the x-rays showed she had swallowed a puzzle piece, just like Curious George! No, that's just what I think of every time I hear the word "x-ray". She has a buckle fracture on the top of her tibia and a possible fracture lower down, although that hasn't been confirmed. Nothing less than a whole leg cast will take care of this fracture so she is decked out in hot pink from her upper thigh to her toes. She was incredible the whole time in urgent care, from 6 to midnight and only cried once while getting her cast put on. Apparently the fiberglass wrap gets hot while it hardens and it made her little leg itch. It was right at the end, when our nurse, Ron, was going to put on the purple stripes, so she ended up in solid pink. Look out!

The cast stays on for almost three weeks and then we believe, if all goes well, she will be back to normal. We are praying for perfect healing and no issues with her growth plate, please! We will go to Children's Mercy Downtown, aka Jessica's hospital, to have the doctor look at it on th 24th. I am not looking forward to revisiting that place, especially on the 24th, but I believe we will leave with more joyful results than last time.

Highlights from the trip:

In the waiting room I gave her a chocoloate and peanut butter protein bar (in lieu of supper). She ate half the bar and then said, "I'm eating too much chocolate!"

Jess asked Cassidy who her favorite team is, KU Jayhawks or Barcelona. Without hesitating she said, "Barcelona."

We were stuck in the hospital for 6 hours with a few books, a sliding toy attached to the wall and minimal snacks. For about thirty minutes we watched a food show. She never complained, whined or cried. She did better than I did.

Whenever a doctor or nurse talked to her she put on her brave face and acted like a grown up. In fact, when the doctor came in and asked me what happened Cassidy went into her own rendition of the jumping accident before I could open my mouth.

As we walked out to the car she said, "Papa, Mama, thanks for taking me to the doctor."

While waiting to get her cast put on she gave Nurse Ron a ballerina bear sticker to put on his ID badge.

She enjoys knocking on her cast since it's so hard. Come on over and give it a knock, or draw on it. I've commissioned Big Cass to draw a banjo on her knee...

Look

2011-03-06T22:43:00.000-06:00

I have added another page for the March pictures, so if you're bored you can take a look at what's been happening.

Cassidy gets her cast tomorrow. I will let you know how that all goes.

Side note: I am missing my "a" button. It broke off of the keyboard of my laptop Friday. So, please, appreciate the a's.

For Blog's Sake

2011-02-28T13:14:00.000-06:00

Can't say enough good things about Big Cassie being at Family Tree. We love visiting.

The wind up and the pitch for throwing in fish food.

This is "Time Out" in Cassidy world. Thanks, Coach, for teaching her the basics.

Kind of...

One fish, two fish, red fish blue fish. Actually she likes the white one with black and orange spots.

Working on the wink. It looks a lot like Wyatt's wink.

Everything's Archies

2011-02-25T22:42:00.000-06:00

Cassidy has discovered the world of Hulu (hulu.com) and now she wants to watch "The Archie Show" everyday. I'm trying to keep it to a minimum, but she enjoys it so much it's hard to say no. And they're not spooky or dirty, although Reggie is no longer known as "that guy in green" and is instead "that mean guy". Cassidy prefers the girls and Hot Dog (she named the dog EJ got her at World's of Fun "Hot Dog"), but I think she secretly likes Jughead too because he's silly.

Here's the real song: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Archie_Show_(The).html

And here's Cassidy rocking it out on her own. The words get a bit confusing, but she learned it on her own. Does this mean she's watching it too often?

Just in time

2011-02-24T22:55:00.001-06:00

In case you missed it, this is from my Photo Journey on Tuesday, the 22nd. (If you want to take a look at past photography, then take a gander at my "Look" page.)

Good thing I took a photo of the orchid when I did. It opened yesterday and has quickly progressed into a strikingly beautiful bloom. Sorry the quality of the photos don't do it justice. I'm still trying to figure out the settings and no natural light really hurts a picture.

This thing is gorgeous; a great 'sale table' find at Family Tree. Thanks, Honey!

Here it is Wednesday

Here it is today, Thursday

The Oven

2011-02-22T21:06:00.000-06:00

She can make cookies or cupcakes or sarkoshia (I'm not sure what that is, but she makes it). See those three little rectangles on the top of the door opening? Those are magnets.

They stick to the three magnets on the door that Sam embedded, like this one below. That's brilliant. And they keep the door from swinging open unexpectedly.

THE Kitchen

2011-02-19T23:50:00.001-06:00

All I can say is, check it out now...

When Big Cassie said she could make a kitchen, she wasn't joking around. Chef's hats off to Sam and Big C. They pulled it off. Expect more posts about THE Kitchen.

Miss Fantastic Turns Four

2011-02-12T23:57:00.001-06:00

I was induced with Cassidy; it was mid-February, I was 18 months removed from my last delivery and I was LARGE. It was time for the little lady to come out, if in fact she was a lady. When the sonographer told us we were having a girl I cried from pure shock. How were we having a little girl? Aren't the Blakes predominantly boys? On Monday February 13th at 10:30 AM, after an hour and a half of labor, out came the cutest dark haired firecracker. Sure enough, Cassidy Faith had arrived.

You would be screaming too.

Turns out Cassidy is easy to live with. She is joyful, obedient, gorgeous,

incredibly loving and hilariously funny.

Do these boots look familiar?

Her curls are a great asset, but they are also a hotly contested issue when it comes to combing. Tom has promised to take over the de-tangling process.

I am sure her brothers cheer her on from their elevated view;

Wyatt always was Cass's greatest encourager.

She loves spending time with Papa, especially if it's a video about the Tabernacle.

Little Chef.

Big Chef.

It's truly impossible to express how thankful we are for Cassie Faye. If it were possible to do, without spoiling her, we would make every day her birthday.

Birthdays All Around

2011-02-07T16:50:00.000-06:00

My dad will turn 67 on Friday, my uncle turns 74 tomorrow and Cassidy turns 4 on Sunday, hence, 67-74-4. My mom is pretty creative. And a really good baker. That was a great cake.

Here they are, some of my favorite people. You will be hard pressed to find a man sweeter than Uncle Jack. I've never heard a cross word out of him, even when Nebraska plays horribly. He is an encourager and a listener. I appreciate how much he has invested in my life. In the last year and half he has been one of the few people who can speak words of truth and life to me. His hugs always carry an extra pound of encouragement and compassion.

My dad is one of the most passionate people I know. His heart is so big, his love is so deep. He is a great example of the Father's love. He has always been involved closely with my life, my biggest fan when it came to being on the stage. The one who believed I could do anything and do it the best. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm a Franz. Anyway, having a father like mine means never wondering what love feels like. I think my number one (and two) love language (gifts/food) come from him. He always gives my mom gifts and the man can cook.

And Cassidy, well she speaks for herself. She's more wonderful than I can express and I am thankful to be her mama. If you don't believe me, come on over and spend a morning with her. Blessed, that's the only way to describe being the mother of Cassidy Faith.

Not featured here, but definitely as important, is Landon, who turns 9 on the 17th. The oldest of the Texas cousins, he is the first one to get Wyatt to hold something in his tiny little hand. He is a great hug giver, a wonderful BIG brother to three (maybe four) sisters, and excels at whatever he sets his mind to. He is a strong athlete and will follow quite well in the footsteps of the Blake boys. He is also very smart and knows so much about G-d you would be encouraged about the future. I love him very much and I am thankful for his hugs and kindness.

Happy Birthdays my wonderful family!

Rocking the Microphone

2011-02-05T16:56:00.001-06:00

Cassidy got a new piano and microphone for her birthday --"Just like Noah's!" I put in the batteries and she rocked out all morning. It was more like karaoke, since she used her new CD player to sing along to her favorite song. Oh, and that's a new baby on her lap, too. Just what she needed, another baby...

The Skunk Song

2011-02-03T21:16:00.000-06:00

I don't know where she got this idea, but she's rocking it.

New Addition

2011-02-01T15:54:00.000-06:00

Jessica's new photo project has inspired me to take more pictures, too. I am not promising pictures every day, but I'm going to try. I like the idea of having photographs that document life, so I plan on keeping them in a folder where they're labeled with the date. I might move it over to the main section, that has yet to be determined. In the meantime, go check out Jessica's blog.

Snow Day Revisited

2011-02-01T15:27:00.000-06:00

Woohoo! Snow day all around and we're loving it. Tom shoveled the driveway and Cassidy and Maasen played in the growing piles of snow. I figure a lot of people are at home, checking their e-mail, surfing the interweb, so here are some photos.

Then after her time outside she came in and I tried my hand at home-made hot cocoa. It worked pretty well, and she was very excited about it. She may have also had a cookie...(I couldn't help myself. I love snow days!)

New Life

2011-01-30T16:34:00.000-06:00

We took Zuma out to her new home yesterday, and with tear-filled good-byes drove back to our increasingly quiet house. One more letting go, one more absence in our lives. Not as painful as the ones that preceded it, but still painful. As Tom told her new family about the tricks and disciplines Yuma had acquired the sadness grew. What a wonderful dog she is; smart, obedient, loving, compassionate. Once again she has other dog playmates, and two little boys and a little girl to love. As we thought it would be.

I miss her. It's like having an amputated limb. I woke up at 4 this morning expecting to hear her whining. I look at the front window thinking her coney head will be poking out waiting for our return. Cassidy had leftover eggs from breakfast, but I had no dog bowl to dump them in. This will take some adjustment. I miss her. Our only hope is she will have a better life out there than in our home. Her new family is very sweet, and has a lot of land and other distractions for her. It seems like the perfect fit. Well, almost perfect.

We love Yuma Zuma. Thanks to everyone for coming over to say good-bye. Thanks also to Jeremy for connecting us with the wonderful family that will love Zum back to good health. We pray G-d blesses this family for their kindness and generosity. And may Zuma be a blessing to them. She was to us.

Yuma Zuma

2011-01-27T21:40:00.000-06:00

Saturday afternoon we will take Yuma Zuma to her new home. We are thankful to Jeremy for connecting us with this great family that will take care of our beloved pup. They have Shepherds already and are aware of how to rehabilitate Yuma. At least they're willing to give it a try.

I've cried several times about this, mostly because I am so sorry she's in such pain. Something that Sarah, the woman adopting Yuma, said is that German Shepherds are intensely loyal, especially the females. She is not surprised that through all of the stress and confusion of the last 17 months Yuma has tried to take our pain onto herself, and biting herself is how she does this. Unfortunately this has only made her life horrible and increased the stress in our lives. We pray this family will have success with getting Zuma to relax and feel at home.

The last few days she seems to be in a weird funk, partially due to the fact that her front elbows are pretty raw from licking. She doesn't seem to want to lay down and we've caught her several times falling asleep sitting up. Since she will be gone in less than 48 hours I have decided to post this video. I hope you enjoy the silliness of Yuma Zuma. She really is a wonderful dog.

The conversations in the background are also kind of funny.

Love for Sale

2011-01-20T20:58:00.000-06:00

Poor Yuma. She is not happy in our home anymore. After Zeke went she started biting herself. We thought it was fleas. Then Wyatt left and she started biting more. And since Harley has gone she's fallen apart. She is stressed out and confused. Maasen took her to a vet tech friend of hers and she gave us several options for why Yuma is biting herself. One of her suggestions was that Yuma still smells Zeke, Wyatt and Harley and thinks they're just going to show up sometime. Since we noticed Yuma biting herself more when Tom went to Guatemala and when we were in Branson and while Maasen was in Michigan we think that points to her biting herself because the boys and Hars are gone.

Therefor we are looking for a new home for Yuma. She is brilliant and sweet and very well behaved. Ask anyone. She needs a new home where she doesn't have any triggers of her old life. As a dog she has no way to deal with the stress and sadness, so she bites herself.

She also has one more "issue". She has a problem with her pancreas which requires us to put medicine on her food. It comes down to $1 a day and I order the medicine online. Once we figured out that issue, a couple years back, she regained a lot of weight and returned to her normal self. Until...

Please, if you are looking for a wonderful, fully trained (she walks in a heal off-leash, stays in the yard without an electric fence or leash, loves people and children of all sizes), beautiful dog, or know someone who does, contact us. In the last year and half this has become one more stress for all of us, and we feel terrible that she is so unhappy. We NEED to find a new home for Yuma. Join the cause.

2011-01-11T21:49:00.002-06:00

I enjoy the Wintertime, specifically when it snows. Tom thinks I get silly about the snow, and it's probably true. I love seeing it float down and pile up. Since I'm blessed to work at home it means I get a beautiful scene outside my window and I don't have to drive on the dangerous streets. And since Maasen's work cancels because of the snow I am happy with the snow this week. We've had two really nice days together and I feel so blessed by her and the PBlakes. On Monday Cassidy spent the morning playing in the snow with them and loved it.

She had everything she needed, except boots. I went downstairs to the closet where we store clothes that are either too big or too small. I found the bag of shoes that were Wyatt's. His snow boots from last year were in there. They were a bit too big for him last year, and I knew they'd be too big for her, but they were the only option. It's a hard thing to decide. I knew the best thing for her would be to put her in his old boots, but seeing those boots on her feet was hard. He loved the snow. Last year we built a snow family, dog included, with Lauren and Noah. This year Cassidy played with the PBlakes at their house.

Bittersweet.

2011-01-03T22:40:00.001-06:00

Tom went to Antigua, Guatemala with our friend Jim. Jim owns a cafe in Antigua called The Refuge. They spent time at Jim's place and then travelled around Guatemala, touring coffee farms, from little to large.

Trying out the cafes in the area was an adventure only a coffee aficionado would appreciate; others wouldn't understand (or care). Regardless of the coffee they had a wonderful time being together, reconnecting and growing their friendship even more.

While we're on the topic, please keep praying for the coffee shop ministry here in Merriam. There are two different options for us and Tom is trying to find out what G-d's will is for the ministry. Sometimes He speaks so loudly and clearly, and other times it feels like He's either saying, You decide, or Hold on. It's hard to decipher which is which sometimes and Tom is doing a good job getting guidance and wisdom from people he respects and trusts. All that, and we could still really use your prayers.

I know the pictures seem like he had a beautiful time in Guatemala, and he did. It was a nice break from the stress at home. But now he is back and figuring out the next step, and the times are just as tense as before he left.

2010-12-29T22:25:00.000-06:00

There's a lot to update you on, mostly just little odds and ends.

I will start with the patio chairs. Tom did not like the white arms so he spray painted those and then we assembled the chairs. They spent some time in our living room and got a lot of use before we moved them to the sunporch for Winter. We look forward to many evenings enjoying the glider on the front patio. The irony of the glider is that Tom only wanted to get it, and no individual chairs. Maasen insisted (correctly) that we get some individual seating since sharing the glider with Tom seemed a bit awkward. Apparently Big Cassie feels the same way about sharing the two-seater.

This is Tom telling Maasen he's waiting to share the glider with her, just to make her feel awkward. Not really...

Thanks Gigi and Papo for a great patio set. I'm looking forward to Tom finishing the little chairs so it's complete. Oh, and some sunshine and flowers.

2010-12-04T17:31:00.000-06:00

Cassidy sleeps the last hour or so in bed with us on a somewhat regular basis, and with Tom being gone it's no different. Yesterday morning as we were cuddling and talking I noticed she had the hiccups. I asked her, "Where did you get those hiccups?"

She looked at me, unflinchingly, and said, "From Maasen. She had free samples."

Espress-Go

2010-11-26T08:39:00.000-06:00

Right about now Tom is getting on an airplane and flying off to Houston, the last place he would choose. But then he will board another plane and meet his friend Jim in Guatamala. They will be spending 10 days in Jim's second city, Antigua, where he owns The Refuge Coffee Bar. We are praying for a great trip, a time of close connection and for Tom to learn how to make some wild latte art.

In the meantime Cassidy and I are hanging out with my family. Yesterday: Turkey. Today: Bar-b-que. That's right, JackStack and Nebraska football. Surprise! Though I married into a soccer family and have enjoyed almost every minute of my soccer journey, I was raised on football. American football. Nebraska football. I realize there's controversy over them leaving the Big 12 but it doesn't matter that much to me. Watching those boys in their red and white uniforms takes me back. How many Orange Bowls have I seen? How many times have I watched the Huskers win in front of a sold out crowd? I can't tell you, but I can tell you that although I attended KSU for school I have attended more Husker games than Wildcat games.

And as a side note, because something should be said, I went to my first KU basketball game! Maasen has taken me under her wing (get it?) and exposed me to all things KU. Tom went to KU, and so did my sister Rachel, and Big Cass for that matter (and a slew of other people), so you might wonder why this Missouri girl is the one taking me to KU games (we went to the KU/NU football game last year). Let's be honest, Maasen is like Ms. Kansas City. She can't go anywhere without knowing someone and that means she knows someone everywhere. And some of those people have KU tickets. The Jayhawks played Emporia State (the Hornets) and beat them handily. It was quite the experience. Walking into Allen Fieldhouse I was a bit giddy, and while it was initially a little awkward to sit bum to bum with a complete stranger, it was the drive and the tight conditions. We stayed until the end, of course, to hear the classic "Rock Chalk Jayhawk KU" that everyone in America knows. If you don't get the chance to go out there this season you can come over and have Little Cassie do the chant for you. She's known it since she could talk, thanks to Maasen.

Just for old times' sake...

I remember putting Wyatt in this outfit at my folks'. We had forgotten about it so for the Championship we pulled it out and put it on him. It barely fit and he wore it for about 5 minutes. But that was enough. Rock Chalk!

This one is a classic.

How I miss the days of her being this little and pudgy. Now she has calves like Wyatt and curls down her back. I suppose she still has the cheeks.

The Day

2010-11-17T15:46:00.000-06:00

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, words of encouragement and gifts throughout the last few weeks, and well, months. Wyatt's 5th birthday was not what we expected and I suppose every year will be different. The joy was missing, but there was a peace throughout the day that I am thankful for. On Wednesday I went to the toy store and got a gift for Cassidy. We decided that at the very least for the boys' birthdays we will get her books; we will always celebrate the days the L-rd gave us those boys and we want them to be reasons for Cass to smile, not sad days. Her relationship being what it was with Wyatt we also wanted to make this birthday special.

She woke up Thursday morning and came into our beds. When Wyatt was around she wouldn't get out of bed until he did; he was an early riser. Since he's been gone she snuggles a lot more with us and this morning it was a nice gift. We talked about Wyatt a little bit and then we hinted that there might be presents for Wyatt's birthday. When she approached the table and saw the gifts she was shocked. "What's this doing here?" she said pointing to her chair. Our birthday tradition is to put the presents at their place at the table so when they get up in the morning they can open them. Last year we also blew up balloons and that was a real thrill for them. "Look at all the balloons?!" he said to her. A beautiful thing about Wyatt and Cass being so close in age is that they always shared everything, so much so that birthdays were almost joint celebrations. This year it took on a new meaning.

She opened the little present first and was very happy to get One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. In keeping with her musical gifting she has found a new love with Dr. Seuss and his rhymes. In the last two weeks we have read this book over and over, with Cass finishing most of the rhymes.

Then she opened the large bag and pulled out a bittersweet gift. I stood in the Toy Story aisle for a long time, loathing the experience. When she pulled out the box with Jessie, Woody and Bullseye I realized why I went through the pain of Toys-R-Us. These toys remind her of Wyatt so much. She asked me if they had Wyatt's name on their feet, since I wrote his name on the feet of his Buzz and Woody. I showed her that they didn't have any names on their feet and then got out the big black marker and put her name there. She sat in her chair after breakfast for 45 minutes playing with those guys, reminding us of Wyatt and his creative imagination.

We spent the rest of the day together, going to the coffee shop, eating chilli and cornbread, Wyatt's favorite meal. Some people popped in to give us hugs and love, and we, well, we made it through the day.

Again, thank you, everyone. Part of our pain is knowing how much everyone misses Wyatt, and Zeke for that matter. There's a hint of sadness around the edges of every moment of joy, but we are thankful to share all those moments with so many wonderful people. And truly the L-rd has blessed us. Our Sweet Pea Cassidy anchors us in the truth that G-d is good. Her voice, her curls, her arms, her squeals -- they are a salve to the wound. Though there is pain, in this life (as in the life to come) there are many things to smile about...

like Cass enjoying her tiara and making food with the clay from Aunt Rachey. It's a little over the top sometimes, but I love how girly this girl is.

Happy Birthday, Wyatt

2010-11-04T03:20:00.004-05:00

Instead of blowing up balloons and wrapping presents I went through our family photographs. Looking at these pictures makes me thankful Wyatt is my son.

Click here to view these pictures larger

2010-10-21T20:57:00.001-05:00

I spent last Sunday on my knees, little broom in hand, dusting off the excess sand and packing a few loose stones. I watched the leaves tumble down from the blue skies, the air cool and refreshing. I enjoy manual labor when it means I get to enjoy the outcome. Watching the leaves reminds me of the autumn when I was pregnant with Wyatt and I went to town raking the leaves one day. It was a day like last Sunday, just begging me outside. It didn't matter that I was ready to give birth, it felt good to get something done in the fresh air. I suppose I will have many fall days ahead, filled with falling leaves, fresh air and a longing for something more. I anxiously await November and the memories it will bring. Until then...

2010-10-14T02:29:00.000-05:00

because in this life of waiting, something's gotta give.

thanks to maas for the kick in the pants to do something new. challenging, but new.

Fun at Family Tree

2010-10-10T23:00:00.001-05:00

(new stuff on eat & drink)

Last weekend I took Cassidy to Family Tree Nursery to enjoy some free fun. There were animals and a lot of free food. It was a nice little outing and if I had been thinking I should have walked since it was just down the street.

Cassie enjoyed the bluegrass music, especially the woman playing the washboard. When we came home she pointed to the one on our mantle and said she wanted to get it down and play it.

She loved jumping in the moonwalk bubble thing. She waited in line very patiently and jumped like Neil Armstrong on the moon.

That is one happy little girl.

She decorated a free little pumpkin with stickers and puffy pom-poms and glitter (thanks Big Cassie). She even drew a crooked smiley face on it.

Unfortunately one of his little eyes didn't make it back home. He is a one-eyed happy harvested pumpkin and she doesn't mind one bit.

Can you see the satisfaction on her face?

Then she potted a beautiful purple and orange pansy. She has no problem rolling up her sleeves and getting dirty. Well, maybe she didn't roll up her sleeves...

The pansy is now in our new flowerbed out front. Wait for that post.

Then we met up with Noah and played in the box of corn. This is a really smart idea and the kids enjoyed it so much.

I asked them to look at me for a picture and this is Cassie posing for the picture but trying to see if Noah was smiling for the photo also. Silly girl.

These are their silly faces. Mima was pretty sure Noah had corn kernels in his pull-up. I would put money on it, since he intentionally put corn in his pockets. I hope Paul had fun finding that.

It was a bittersweet adventure. It would be nice to have three cute little pumpkins to show off and three beautiful pansies in the front . I wonder what harvest time is like for Wyatt and Zeke.

2010-10-06T17:19:00.000-05:00

Tom hasn't had work for the last month and though he's been working diligently on his thesis about the New Covenant, the doer in him needs a break from the computer. He looked on Craig's List and found some sand and flagstone and decided to build a patio. He had some amazing help from Sam, the handiest man I know next to Tom (Neighbor Jim doesn't count) and they pounded it out in about a week. Here are some photos from along the way.

The dirt pit.

Leveling out the dirt pit.

After the gravel was poured. This was our one big expense, about $30.

They have laid the stone and put sand in between each but it's still setting so I will wait a few more days to post the final product. We are on the look out for chairs, hoping Big Trash Day will provide some great finds. With Big Cass and Sam on the look out, and Maasen to help I think we should have some success.

I'm thankful for Sam and the silliness he brings out in Tom. The stress in our house is so thick but having people around that can make us laugh helps a lot. If it was easier to post videos I would post one that goes along with this photo of Sam and Tom on the board. They were shuffling around like dorks. It would make you laugh, trust me.

2010-09-11T23:00:00.001-05:00

New stuff on the Read and Eat and Drink pages...

2010-08-29T23:08:00.000-05:00

i'm sad all over so i am posting a photo from our trip that makes me laugh.

sam is one of those guys you can't help but love because he has a heart of gold, but sometimes he is just plain hilarious. i like that.

2010-08-16T15:11:00.000-05:00

The river brings out the silliness in Cassidy.

It also brings out the silliness in the boys.

Even after we've left the river it continues in the car.
Something about the cold water and warm sunshine.

2010-08-15T15:35:00.002-05:00

Yesterday while the guys golfed Susan, team Cass and I went to the Blue River. We found a great spot that required brave maneuvering downhill, little Cass in arms, flip flops on Susan's feet. It was worth the awkward trek, both up and down hill. I found some beautiful stones that will be a nice reminder of the day.

Little Warrior Cassidy, she loved every minute in the cold cold water. This was one of the glorious days that rain didn't interrupt our outing.

A great place to splash and play. Big Cass went way out and swam around. She rode the tide back to us, and returned like an ice cube. It took her a while to warm back up.

The perfect playground: Little loved gathering rocks, turning the big rocks into challah.

Though a bit dark I like this photo: Team Cass getting in the deep end. Little is monkeying around a bit, which isn't so surprising.

I couldn't resist adding this one. Eliana didn't think she wanted her picture taken but then I smiled at her and she changed her mind.

2010-08-11T23:17:00.000-05:00

Our adventure started Saturday night, packing up in the smothering heat, making several stops in order to gather all of our goodies for our trip to Colorado. We drove through the night, Tom and Sam staying up for the large portion, Cassie and I taking the hard pre-sunrise drive. We arrived tired but thankful for the cool weather. It is very cool here, and we are loving it (sorry).

If you're interested in coffee and food adventures check out the food and drink tab. Otherwise stay tuned for our small but enjoyable adventures. (Again, mostly out of order because of the annoying blogger photo upload set-up. Please fix this blogger.)

We hit Rocky Mountain National Park, a treat for all of us. Little Cassie did not sleep on our way up there but she pushed past the need for a nap, for the most part, and climbed up the waterfall with some help from Papa. She was very brave and enjoyed the cold, gushing water.

Wildflowers. Wildflowers. Everywhere.

E.J., Sam and Big Cass getting ready for their first day of fishing.

Horseshoe Falls. This is where Little Cass learned (after falling on her bum on the hard rocks) to get low on the harder parts. Now she crouches down to stay safe a lot, even when it doesn't seem completely necessary.

This is Cassie on the cusp of a breakdown...

but Papa does a great job cheering her up!

This is Sam being a rascal at Rachey's. I think this is an ornery face, but Big Cass says this is a real, and rarely captured smile, of Sam. Sam in the wild or perhaps just on vacation.

Team Cass hanging out in the playhouse in Rachel's backyard. There's a good chance Big is telling Little a story. The same story of the moose with the thorn in her paw that has been told so many times Little can tell it herself. She keeps asking Big to tell her the story again anyway.

Skip to today and fishing in the Blue River not far from our house in Silverthorne. It took quite a while to convince her to try fishing, but she eventually gave it a try. She caught as many fish as Sam and Cassie. Nada.

2010-08-06T00:57:00.002-05:00

new pages, new information. check it out, right up there ^

Sabbath Swimming

2010-08-02T20:56:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, while Tom was getting his diploma for a Masters in Religious Education in Middle Eastern History, we went to Big Cassie's mom's house. (Lil' Cass called it Sam's house.) She lives out in Linwood off of a gravel road, with horses and chickens and roosters. Her house has a wrap-around porch and a pool. It is a such a wonderful place and sometimes we get to hang out with Cassie's brother, Seth, who is pretty great. He is Cassie's little brother, afterall. We have yet to hang out with her mom, however. She has more of a social life than we do.

We've been swimming a lot this summer and finally I got some video of Cass. She has quickly progressed and now she'll go without her swim vest and has no trouble being under the water. I would like to post all of the videos but I have narrowed it down to these few: some of Cass and Cass, some of Sam, some of the chickens. Grab some popcorn and enjoy! (In no particular order, the uploading and arrangement took a long time.)

This one is fun to me because Lil' Cass seems so big here. Big Cass did a great job encouraging her in so many ways while we were out there.

Sam's entrance into the pool: a beautiful gainer. You can hear Big Cass talking about how good he is at these if you listen carefully.

Chicken Man Sam. And the Casses.

Here's Lil' Cass pushing off the bottom of the pool to jump up out of the water. So fun!

Like I said, in no particular order...Cassie's entrance into the pool. She thought she needed help, but she didn't. Can you hear the rooster? And then she got distracted by Big Cass putting an innertube in the pool, but just one.

There are more videos I could post but I suppose this is enough for now. Tune in next time.

Friday at the Mall

2010-08-01T00:38:00.002-05:00

While Papa is in Arkansas we've been having some little adventures of our own. On Friday Maasen took us to the Oak Park Mall. Little did I realize this would be so much fun, and so when the day started I did not pull out my camera. Thus I missed Cassidy eating her first Godiva Truffle. She picked out one with a pink swirl on it and we both enjoyed it immensely.

(If you sign up on their free list you get a free truffle every month. Hint hint, husbands.)

Cass and Maas rode the carousel together. Cass chose the seal and Maasen chose...

the panda bear. Aren't they cute?

We all rode the escalator a couple times but Cass could have done that ride all day.

After touching these public objects Cass was sure to use the sanitizing soap, another mall highlight. See the excitement?!

This is the look of dirty hands getting clean. Serious business.

Maasen treated Cass to a spin in this rad ride. I think this is just her way of influencing Cassie to like Jeeps. It's a jeep thing, I guess. (Maas actually tried to get in this kiddie car but that was not quite successful. I might have video footage.)

Then she played in the little kids play area which re-emphasized the importance of wearing shorts, and not dresses, on excursions such as this.

When I rode the carousel with Cassie, she chose this little princess carriage thing. She enjoyed being in it so much she gave me the Miss America wave (which, oddly enough, Papo taught her to do while riding in the golf cart).

I tried to take a few photos of the two of us and then a nice dad who was riding with his daughter offered to take our picture. I know it looks like I'm gripping her arm awkwardly, but really, we're having a good time.

Just before the bell rang, signaling the start of the carousel, Cassie changed her mind and wanted to ride the panda. But not the same panda as Maasen, just so you know. We enjoyed it so much I forgot all about naps. She pushed past pretty well. I think the soft pretzel helped.

And this is what happens when Papa leaves town and the girls go to the mall. A Pretty good idea, Maasen.

2010-07-31T21:59:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we went to Westport's Ric Rac craft fair, thanks to Shea's suggestion. It was a hot one but the crafting was unique and we enjoyed getting out. The highlight came at the end. We waited in line for a good bit, long enough to see others leave their spots because they couldn't take the pressure (just kidding, she was pregnant and carrying a toddler on her large baby belly). We persevered and enjoyed our first experience with Fresher Than Fresh, "Kansas City's 1st all natural snow cone stand on wheels". There are several flavors to pick from, but Maasen treated lil' Cass and me to a smorgasbord of flavors: ric rac raspberry, in honor of the craft gathering; espresso and mexican cane sugar, my pick; watermelon basil, Big Cass tried this one herself; blackberry lavender, for Lil' Cass; and green tea pear, Maasen digs all things tea. They were delicious, but I think I enjoyed it most because of the people we were with. In all reality it's just flavored ice. The concept is great, but I'm waiting for Shea to come up with her own flavors. Obviously Cassidy enjoyed it, and thanks to Maasen she got the last drop of her outrageously bright pink colored iced.

Her Works Praise Her: A History of Jewish Women in America from Colonial Times to the Present

2010-07-30T10:42:00.000-05:00

I finished a dense volume of Jewish women in America by Hasia Diner this month. At times I could only read a page or two at a time, but that was mostly because I was so tired. Her analysis of the change of Judaism in America opened my eyes to the power and beauty that lies with being a woman, the one who leads the home into Sabbath and who also makes sure things run smoothly and the bills get paid. Here are some excerpts from the books, as well as some famous Jewish women (and men). I've decided to break this up into installments; it will be easier for me to post and you people will probably read it if it's not ten pages.

The central, beating heart is the Jewish home, indeed an entire network of Jewish homes that creates the Sabbath atmosphere, the festive rituals, the necessary foods, and the spiritual sustenance that constitute the Jewish conception of holiness. Only a house cleaned and polished in honor of the holy day, only a table covered with a starched cloth and laden with traditional delicacies, only the presence of possibility f children to carry on the tradition, affords the necessary complement to the ritual of the synagogue. (5-6)

But we do know for sure that colonial Jews kept another central element of traditional piety, the dietary laws. For a woman trying to provide her family kosher food, everything to do with their sustenance rises to the realm of the holy. Going to the market, raising chickens in the yard, churning butter and making cheese, seasoning a cut of meat, turning it on the spit, planning a day's meals, setting the table, clearing the dirty dishes, washing, drying and putting them away -- each of these deceptively ordinary acts brings her in touch with ultimate law of the Universe, as commanded by G-d and written in the Torah. (35)

And as in earlier days, some Gentile wives embraced Judaism. European-born Marcus Spiegel, for example, met a Quaker girl named Caroline on his peddling rounds in Ohio. They married and he brought her to Chicago, where in 1853 she became one of the city's first Jewish converts. Eleven years later Marcus died in the Civil War battle of Vicksburg, but Caroline remained loyal to her new faith for the rest of her days. (At the time of his death, Marcus was intending to go into business with his brother Joseph. Joseph went ahead and opened the planned store, which eventually grew into the Spiegel catalog company.) (91)

2010-07-05T18:32:00.000-05:00

we went to lawrence and got amazing cheeseburgers and then cass rode this dinky old carousel. no music, so sam sang a song for her. the dialogue at the end is about how tom ordered a double shot of espresso and the barista asked, "for here or to go?" he should have turned around and walked away, like sam did, but he didn't. he got a quad shot (the barista's interpretation of a double shot) and it was pretty undrinkable. and really hilarious.

and then we went to worlds of fun. and she rode a real carousel, with music. and she sang her own song. it's hard to hear her singing, but it was about loving her horses. she sang the whole ride, which isn't surprising. she could sing about anything, for days.

2010-06-29T22:56:00.001-05:00

one night sam and some other boys came over to watch soccer with tom. they found the starburst jelly beans and started to snack on them. the candy quickly dwindled in number until i told them to stop eating them. the next time sam showed up he got an earful from little cass.he took one for the team. and then the absence of his beard settled in and she had to get her mind around that.

2010-06-29T22:05:00.000-05:00

since cass did such a good job being brave in the swimming pool she got a special treat: spongebob squarepants on a stick. she only ate about three bites, but truly enjoyed the gumball eyes. some photos of her enjoying a sweet treat.

our kids' knowledge of spongebob comes from uncle joe. the only time they've seen the show is with him. we would see spongebob stuff somewhere and it always reminded wyatt of "unka jo".

2010-06-27T16:38:00.000-05:00

canoeamericana is about our family, even as it changes in size. as i'm changing the look i scrolled down to see how the background looked and there he is, talking to maas. and playing on the bed. and squatting by the zi-zi plant. there he is. it's hard to see him smiling, but i love it. i hope you do, too.

i am going to keep canoeamericana about our family, our daily life. i recognize that our sadness is part of our lives; every morning we wake up thinking about him and we go to bed missing him. the 14th of every month is filled with longing and the 24th is covered in sadness. you can read about how we are journeying through this intense sadness, the absence of our sons, at http://www.mayhemakepeaceuponus.blogspot.com/, or by clicking on the link to the right, the world to come.

here on this blog i will post pictures and stories about our living, the moments with cassidy, our garden, our friends. feel free to scroll through and smile at wy-guy when you're missing him. he is a beautiful boy.

one day when i was grieving his absence and questioning the L-rd i said to big cass, i know that the L-rd gives and He takes away, but why? why did He give me such a wonderful boy only to take him away.

"to enjoy him." that's what she said. wisdom. don't let the confusion of why did G-d take wyatt from all of us separate you from experiencing the L-rd's love. He is mysterious and divine. His ways are not our ways. if they were then wyatt and zeke would be napping in their beds right now. but things have not played out my way. perhaps we need to ask the L-rd about what we are supposed to be learning from this sadness.

what are you learning?

2010-05-18T00:14:00.000-05:00

this is a temporary change. i like the idea of the coffee in the background. let's face it, we are pulling some delicious shots in this house currently. we hope to expand soon to downtown merriam. look for it.

but to be honest, the newspaper with the stocks on it kind of ruins the background for me. when we did get the paper i savored the funny pages.

2010-05-17T23:59:00.000-05:00

where am i? i'm sitting on my couch, having just finished maasen's new blog layout. thanks to some help from the big c i think i'm pleased with it. check it out: http://maasenphotography.blogspot.com/

2010-05-13T23:20:00.000-05:00

we are busy beyond belief over here. even the nights that we don't have anything scheduled turn out to be full. tonight is one of those, although one could argue that there was something scheduled on the calendar: maasen's last game of the regular season. after torrential rains the night before, the field cleared out and the double header was on.

(i realize this is a baseball field...)

i love going to games for several reasons:

1) maas is my gal and i like supporting her

2) maas is my gal and i like to see her in her element (she's kind of a big deal with those girls)

3) it's my alma mater
4) it's outside

5) i get to show off my adorable children

6) i get to spoil my adorable children (don't tell tom)

the huskies went 1-1 tonight, which was a nice little ending for them, although we left before they actually won the second game. we also got to see maas's mom and brother, double bonus. it is strange to talk with them since they are both "maasens" but i call her "maasen" and they call her "ang" or "angela". i found myself switching over to ang for the sake of being on the same page. we also got to interact a little bit with her friend coach b and some of the players. i got a little caught up in the game so i hope i was encouraging and the look of sadness (they lost the first game 7-1) wasn't too apparent when i saw them.

i'm hoping to get out to their regional game next week where they will upset whatever team they play and continue on to win the state title... a girl can dream, can't she?!

here the kids are talking with their favorite coach. this was taken at the last game we went to when cass bit it on the concrete ramp pretty badly. christy the trainer, the woman in the left of the picture, helped out and gave her a band-aid. she tried to give her some cool purple wrap but cass was beside herself with the injury. the scrape has healed and has since been replaced by other ouchies.

variety's the very spice of life, that gives it all its flavor- william cowper.

2010-05-04T00:11:00.000-05:00

today was a beautiful day. warm sun, cool breeze; we felt it through our windows. but today i needed to get some things done inside and that means not playing outside. beautiful weather is a great distraction. i said that.

so i convinced the kids that playing on my bed was an exciting change from playing elsewhere in the house. and they believed me. i also pulled out their lunchboxes which contain special toys. i keep certain toys in these roy rogers/dale evans lunchboxes and then put the boxes on my dresser. when we go to broadway or somewhere that i want them to be able to occupy themselves i pull out the boxes. and it worked again. there are the typical dolls for cassie and some astronauts for wyatt. but then there are some different characters, like the animals with interchangable body parts. they are an odd but intriguing distraction. they played on the bed long enough for me to eat breakfast and get the kitchen cleaned. another small success in the book of motherhood.

the influence of big cass

2010-05-01T00:08:00.000-05:00

it's time to plant. i'm sure you've all been digging in the dirt this week, or at least itching to, and so have i. although i had it on good authority from a family tree nursery employee that it would be safe to plant my vegetable garden, i didn't jump the gun. i'm sure the freezing temperatures are long gone, but the torrential downpours that destroyed my lettuce have made me a little gun-shy. therefore i only put in onions, figuring they would be safe underground for a while. turns out i was right and here they are, starting to pop up:

i'm pretty excited they're showing their little green heads. these bulbs were given to me by a friend, who got them from another friend, so i wasn't intending to plant onions, but i'm blessed by them nonetheless (is that really a word? is it a compounded compound?). now i'm wondering when i can actually use them. i'll have to consult my midwest gardening book. or just ask cassie.

in other news...

i repotted the zamioculcas zamiifolia plant big cass gave the kids. (this picture is hilarious to me). it grew quite well in their room for the last month or so, but now it needs more room to flourish. i am very pleased with this little guy and look forward to all of his coming leaves. i was worried about uprooting him, but believed cassie when she said it shouldn't be a problem. turns out the little bulbs have roots, but i think everything turned out alright.

i actually repotted the repotted z.z. because after i put it in the terra-cotta pot i noticed the pot was dirty. and orange. and then i realized this would not work in tom's house. i think the look on cassie's face says it all. sorry honey, my mistake.

i found another, more attractive pot, in the garage and put the plant in there. i'm relieved to have made the save before the little guy moved into the house in his unsightly orange container. the kids seem pretty happy with the new situation too. when i water the plant the kids ask about him (just as in some people's minds all dogs are boys and cats are girls, green leafing plants are boys and flowering plants are girls). most common question: is he not dying? this is in reference to the flowers that tom gets me. sometimes i put some of the flowers in their room, but since they're cut flowers they only last so long. it's a sad question really, and i'm trying to reassure them that this z.z. plant, also known as the eternity plant, will be just fine for a while.

2010-04-30T22:56:00.000-05:00

i'll be honest, i'm a little overwhelmed by the possibilities with this new "blogger in draft" set-up but here's the first attempt. you would think i'd love it since the background is wood and if you'll remember my previous header was of our wood floor. one thing i am pleased with is that this new background scrolls down with the posts. if you put a background on with that "cutest blog on the block" the background stays the same even when you scroll down and it bothers my eyes. with these new options i should be excited, but have you clicked on the background option? there are quite possibly 400 different choices! and changing text color isn't as self-explanitory as i would like. they don't mean what they say, or say what they mean.

on top of that i'm a little particular about the color of the post font; i want it to be readable, as well as the sidebars, and i don't know that i'm satisfied with what i've chosen. and then there's the header: i think any kind of fancy header might be too busy so i'm stuck with plain text. agh!

all this to say, don't be surprised if i go back to the old layout, or just leave it like this for years to come.

but here's something i've settled on: mr. stainless steel kenmore. while we weren't wanting a new refrigerator we got one anyway and i must say, the water is a nice feature. sam might miss opening the door in that awkward way to get water but i think the rest of us enjoy the new simplicity. come try it out, it's delicious.

2010-04-26T15:17:00.000-05:00

what adventures we've had. this weekend i decided enough is enough, no more diapers. and viola, cassie agreed with me. i started her off in what you might call training pants, something like underwear with a little more cloth to absorb some but not all of the pee. she had three accidents on friday but on saturday she started to get the hang of it and realized it wasn't so scary to pee in the potty. and sunday morning she came into our room andn woke us up saying "i have to go potty." she put the "potty sitter" on the toilet, moved the stool, dropped her drawers and peed. all the while tom and i layed in bed staring at each other. not only that, but her diaper was dry from a whole night. since then she had one half poop accident (i caught her in the act and she finished on the toilet) and no pee problems. she'll be moving on to underwear soon!

there's nothing as cute as kids wearing underwear and if the internet wasn't so creepy and a little more private i would post some photos of their skinny bums in undies, but you'll have to settle for these.

2010-04-17T20:45:00.009-05:00

early this morning maas and i loaded up the kids for a little day trip to wichita. we had one goal in mind: chicken little starring mark(us parkus) maasen. and it was worth it. i think maas and i laughed more than the kids, or anyone else for the matter. the jokes were bad, like when ducky lucky comes out and yells, "DUCK!" and the other characters all...duck. we laughed out loud. but nothing was funnier than when mark broke character on stage. the actors take liberty a bit with the script and ad-lib or change things around sometimes and he was having a hard time holding it in.

one of the highlights was the kids' excitement. we got to eat pizza before the show and while we were eating cassie asked probably a dozen times, "where's chicken little?" she has such a good ear too that when mark made an announcement with the microphone cassie knew is was him without being able to see him. she asked me, "was that mork?" wyatt's enthusiasm carried over to the end of the show when he got his picture taken with chicken little ("i'm not a chicken, i'm a chicken hawk") AND the king. unfamiliar people in weird costumes. notice the hand on mark's shoulder! he was stoked about the king because that's right up his playmobil alley. i think it was a real treat for him to meet a king. his joy, however, did not last long enough to have his photo taken with henny penny (totally hilarious character) and turkey lurkey. i think it was the animal costumes that started to weird him out but i'm proud just the same. cass, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with any of them. she clams up around strangers. if she's like her brother she'll probably outgrow it, slowly.
here's mark as goosey loosey with wolf disguised as a police officer and henny penny, who thinks the sky is falling. it's a different tale of chicken little, but rest assured, the sky doesn't fall on henny penny either. at one point goosey loosey and henny penny bump knuckles, which maas decided was ridiculous (but hilarious). she suggested maybe a claw bump. and not only does mark act (he was goosey loosey and chicken little), sing and dance but he also does set design. he did the set for this production, and it was pretty great. he's moving to kc in a few weeks and i know the tblake family is praying he'll get some great gigs here in town and that we'll get to see him perform again. bravo, mark!

2010-04-15T22:31:00.005-05:00

we wrapped up tom's birthday with a bang, but not the good kind of bang that makes you go "ooh. ahh." more that type that makes you want to scream. our refrigerator stopped working. tom reached into the freezer to get some ice and got a handful of water. and so we are getting a new fridge.

just last week he asked me, "what would you do to change the kitchen?" and i told him i really like my kitchen. the appliances work great. if i could change anything: an espresso machine (check), stainless steel appliances (purely aesthetic), a big range with a grill option (like my parents'). a new refrigerator was not on my list. but now i'm getting one. it's kind of exciting, but hard to enjoy since work has been slow at the tblake household and i was really hoping to use the birthday money for a dosing grinder, not an ice box.

trusty sam came over to help us figure out what was wrong with the refrigerator. he decided it was the compressor (confirmed by handy man jim next door) and pulled his first shot. classic sam and coffee.

in less dramatic news, although maybe not, wyatt is a short-hair again. it's already so warm here that his thick hair is making him sweat. it seems very uncomfortable. the kid's hair is dense. we borrowed matt's clippers and buzzed it off. wyatt calls it the "buzzer" and he doesn't necessarily enjoy it since he has to sit there long enough for me to trim up the hair and then use the "buzzer". but he looks adorable and he won't sweat nearly as much.

i think the shorter hair shows off his eyelashes, but you'll have to see him in person to notice. i love his short hair.

2010-04-11T14:13:00.005-05:00

"i'm 33." tom was adamant about his age today when we got out of the van this morning. i am well aware of his age, it's his birthday for goodness sake. his statement was in response to all of the familiar cars parked on our street. a surprise to him, a relief to me. as we got the kids out of the van we could hear the excited voices coming through the open windows.

he was all golly-shucks and hugs as he walked through the house. at bill's beckoning he sat down on the sunporch and opened a large box. nothing but total surprise as he pulled out bag after bag of green coffee beans. and then the roaster.

it all started to make sense but then he opened up a box from sam and cassie and saw a steaming pitcher and espresso shot glasses. and kate gave him little spoons. accessories for an espresso machine, not a roaster.

"great!" he said. " i can bring these over to bill's house." or...

he can use his own espresso machine that bill engineered! his level of excitement was only overshadowed by his total embarassment. he couldn't (and still can't) believe that there's a roaster and an espresso machine in our home. and they're ours. for keeps.

i'm also really excited about the machines. every day, right around 3 o'clock i get a little tired and it's too late to take a nap. i'm also trying to watch the calories that i drink, so the shot of espresso will be a wonderful pick-me-up. this will be a delicious adventure. and we're both looking forward to having a lot of people over for espresso on the sunporch.

pulling the first shot.

in a sadder note, i gave tom demi cups prior to the big event. i told him it was to build his hope to one day have a machine (wink wink). but when maasen unpacked them to put them out for use one of them was broken. and come to find out he doesn't like the color. so we'll be returning them for a different set. but it was a good idea, right?

2010-03-30T23:24:00.012-05:00

the windows are open. i am prepared to turn the fans on tomorrow if we reach the 70's. i'm hoping to get some lettuce into the ground this week. springtime.

in case you missed it, i posted about colorado, but in the vein of blogger complications, it is after the passover post. that's what i get for planning ahead.

wyatt crossed the street by himself for the first time today. i stood on the edge of our driveway, watching my little guy make a big move. he is a rule follower, careful and smart, so when i told him he could cross alone he was filled with excitement and caution. once he made it across he smiled his adorable grin and said, "mama! no cars!" i was so proud and so sad. he walked down the sidewalk to harrison's house and kept turning around and waving, saying "bye, mama!" tom watched from the window and hollered out at him, too. when he saw tom wyatt's face lit up again and he waved, proud of his accomplishment and glad his papa saw it.

i don't know what i'm going to do when he goes off to preschool in the fall. i wasn't anxious to put him in school; i love the time we have together and i wish i had more. i must get this from my mother. she wasn't in any hurry to send me off. even though i didn't like having braces up until my sophomore year, orthodontist appointments allowed us to spend some special time together, going to lunch and stopping at thift stores. we have fun memories just the two of us, cutting class.

so in the fall cass and i will walk with wyatt down the street to his new school and for two and half hours we'll find ourselves without our wy-wy. i don't know who will miss him more...

2010-03-29T00:24:00.003-05:00

the eve of passover. yom tov.

2010-03-27T12:48:00.008-05:00

less than two weeks ago we were in colorado, bundling up and enjoying the mountains. i spent two days out on my snowboard, or what i thought was my snowboard but it turns out it's really sarah's. long story.

all you need to know is that after ten years of hibernation i made it down the mountain painlessly, and backwards. and then i got my bindings fixed and it was even more fun.
tom took care of the kids while i enjoyed my old ski runs with my family. they sledded at the mountain and made lego ships and watched hoops.

i got to watch abbie learn how to ski and that was thrilling. she picked it up so quickly and made all of us proud. from 5 year old abbie to 73 year old uncle jack we covered the hills of winter park.
we also met rachel's boyfriend e.j. and even though she is a skier, e.j. knows the fun stuff happens on a board. he took jumps every chance he got and when he didn't land them it didn't matter, he got back up and tried the next one. it was a lot of fun getting to know him and laughing on the chairlift together.

the highlight for me was hanging out with rachel. we're happy that she loves it in colorado, but if there was a way to bring the mountains to merriam we would.

we also ate a lot while we were there, each of us making different meals, but i don't have any photos to show of the food. but believe me, it was delicious.

2010-02-22T11:20:00.005-06:00

we're approaching six months without ezekiel and i just wanted to say thank you to everyone for supporting us and loving us. as i finish up the last of the thank you cards (what a weird thing) and grieve all over again i am reminded that there are things to be thankful for. sometimes i don't want to be thankful but today i will say thank you one more time...for the people who loved on zeke before he was born, who held him and prayed for him and then helped celebrate his life, you are important to us. for the people who sent meaningful cards, flowers, gift cards, meals --thank you. for the people who continue to pray and ask how we're doing and really mean it, thanks.

every day is uncertain, every breath a blessing. we're reminded things could be better, but they could also be worse. so give thanks for anything that makes your life better, or worse, and remember that it's all a gift.

wyatt's 4th birthday party. he almost cried when he thought he had to eat cake.

cassie's 3rd birthday party. she loved having everyone sing to her. she almost cried when i told her she couldn't have any more cake.

he got at least one professional shoot in with his auntie sarah for his first birthday. the boy looks good.

2010-02-21T23:09:00.004-06:00

has anyone noticed the suggestions for labels in regards to posts on blogger? right below where i'm typing (you won't be able to see it once i post) it says:

Labels for this post:
e.g. scooters, vacation,fall

who is posting about scooters so much that it needs its own label? what kind of scooters are we talking about? whether it's ones with wheels or the chain coffee company, i don't believe these are worth labeling. wouldn't vehicles or coffee suffice?

also, f.y.i.: if you haven't posted in the last month you have a few more days to make the cut off before being cut off. the side bar is already getting cleaned up. did you notice?

2010-02-21T22:28:00.003-06:00

when i was in college i had some great roommates. in the end i think i had 7 roommates and they were all wonderful girls. the last two years in manhattan i lived in a house that we called the blue bungalow. it was not a bungalow, it was a two story blue house with a big front porch. maeret could give you details on what a bungalow consists of; our house was not one. it was a catchy name. and it stuck.

my junior year we decided to get a dog. our neighbors bred boxers and all the puppies sold except the runt. she was a cutie and our sweet neighbors (bonnie and what were her husband and son's name...bri would remember) decided to give us this unwanted puppy. being music people we thought of several options but settled on rhoadie. i added the 'rh' because it reminded me of rhoda from the mary tyler moore show.

the story is funny only because it wasn't just the girls in the house who took care of the dog (although one roommate was not thrilled about the dog, she did tolerate rhoadie. as a puppy she was adorable so it wasn't too hard of a sell). there were three boys that also became co-owners. they were great boys, coming to take her for walks, teaching her tricks, taking her out in the snow when we didn't want to. we decided it was only fair to name her after all of her owners: rhodie mcwiebingtonfranzirwinschrag.

i think of this name only because as i type maas sits to my right and cassie sits across from me. we all have our computers out. we're talking and not talking and that's okay. tom and sam are sitting on the couch talking. it's this fun college-life feeling. the only difference is we're all really tired and it's only 10:30. it's a given that the tblakes and maasen hang out a lot, we are roommates. sam and cassie make their way over to mastin street quite frequently. the five of us watch ku games together, we eat supper, play games, hang out. yuma tries to tell the v.b.s she would love to move to their duplex. sometimes cassie uses us for our free wireless internet. and we're ok with that.

maas calls sam and cass the friday night roommates because we frequently have sabbath supper together. the reality is we hang out more than just fridays. it would be funny to have a name, especially since the v.b.s have two last names and some people think maasen's first name is maasen and don't know what her last name is. her real name is angela jean maasen but maasen jean rolls off the tongue quite nicely.

i am suggesting the van maasblakes. and if we wanted to add the folks over at 6857 that would be easy: p.t. van weltonmaasblakes. that has a good ring to it.

this creates a bigger question: what would be the collective name for all the people in our community? sometimes invitations or thank yous come for the community and they are addressed to kingdom living. this is the easy way out and i'm curious, what is the collective name for k.l.?

2010-02-19T00:34:00.003-06:00

warning: i'm in clean-up mode. i realize that some of you might not have the time to post, but if you don't update your blog soon your link over there on the right side is going to get axed. you know who you are.

i'm getting tired of the clutter.

2010-02-18T22:14:00.004-06:00

for a while i put real lemon in my water to spice up the no coke routine. the kids thought this was a fabulous new drink and begged to try lemons. not in their own water to drink, but straight, undiluted lemons to suck on. they asked:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHQz5mwa1Ls

sorry you can't watch it directly here. i don't know what's wrong with my technology skills. i can't get it loaded. trust me, this is worth checking out. and while you're there you should check out the older videos. wow, we laughed a lot.

2010-02-18T21:31:00.007-06:00

i enjoy layout and design, but the problem is i have very few great photographs. i don't have the eye for it. i suppose that's why i enjoyed working for kelly jackson. i love a great photograph. and speaking of (what a great segue [what a weird spelling!]) this is a great new site by the girls: http://beautythrualens.tumblr.com/ these photographs are wonderful and creative. i look forward to checking it often to see what brilliant new views they come up with.

as for life at the tblake house:
cassie is officially three, but not any closer to wanting to go potty on the toilet. i am not sure what to do to encourage her in this area. she is intelligent and independent so i've been telling her she's in charge of her potty, but it's a tough sell. she is, however, very good at telling me after she has pooped and whether her diaper has poop, pee or both. nice, huh?

wyatt is learning to write his letters and counts pretty well. if i set something up and ask him to count it he goes very slowly, putting his index finger on each item. i wish there was some way i could describe how long and drawn out his counting is, but you'll have to hear it for yourself.

we brought out the electric piano (aka keyboard) this week. it was a gift from my parents at christmas and i finally broke down and opened it up. surprisingly it's not so annoying. wyatt loves to turn on the beats and then play. he puts it on what he calls "rock and roll". that's my son. and cass can't help herself, when she hears a beat she wiggles her little booty. we've been practicing notes, doing the scale and she has amazing pitch. i look forward to them growing in their musical sensibilities. i pray uncle eric and uncle sam-bo will step in and help them.

speaking of (again, smooth transition), i would really love it if mr. simon and mr. van buskirk (note: two names, not one, not three) would record some music. i'm putting it out there. i've said it several times and it seems like we're not any closer to having their tunes on our ipod. frankly i'm a little disappointed. i know e-train has a new baby, and sammy has a new wife, but i also know there are at least 20 other people who would love to have their tunes playing in their homes. i'm calling you out, boys.

i suppose we're doing alright in the tblake home. well, i guess i'm doing alright. tom still has aches from his car accident and continues to see the chiropractor. he's been working this week and i'm not sure that's a good thing for his body, but it's a good thing for our bills. we're praying for a new line of work and he's looking into some things but we're still totally clueless as to the next step. though our faith has increased during this season of grief and waiting, our patience is getting stretched and i (i should only speak for myself) am getting tired of the uncertainty. the adventure continues and i'm sure i will look back one day and be thankful for this part of the journey, but i'm ready to turn the page.

2010-02-09T22:01:00.005-06:00

yesterday i realized why i don't eat lunch with my children. i used to think it was because i didn't want to have to talk during the meal. i just wanted quiet time to read my book and enjoy my food. now i realize it's because i want to eat.

i served the kids first: turkey, cheese, grapes. this kept them occuppied long enough for me to make a sandwich for myself. but as soon as i sat down they needed more water. then more grapes. and some more cheese. and a little bit of turkey. i took two bites here, a bite there, and became so frustrated that i gave up.

i'm a foodie. anytime i invest energy into a meal i want to enjoy it. on occassion i make meals i don't particularly enjoy and then the desire to relish in it isn't as strong, but i still like to eat without having to get up every two minutes.

so even though it's more socially ideal to eat lunch with the kids, this has become a joke and i will go back to my old ways of holding off my hunger until they are snuggled in their beds for naptime. then i will enjoy my book and get out of my chair only for dessert.

in a somewhat unrelated event, here's cassie pouting because it's not time to eat the challah bread yet. this is one of the kids' favorite foods. last time i made sweet challah (raisins and cinnamon inside) wyatt ran around the house giving me and tom kisses and yelling, "sweet challah! sweet challah!" (the round loaf is the sweet one. wyatt doesn't like the regular kind. cassie is like her father, she'll eat anything i make.)

2010-01-23T13:48:00.003-06:00

wyatt is now four years old and his baby book is still only a half-finished project. i'm not sure now is the best time to do this, but i'm going to try to finish his first year. i realize this will be a bittersweet endeavor. i am thankful for my children and the time i've had with them, so i will try to complete their books this year and give thanks for them. along with that i will post some photos because it's amazing to see how much they change.

when wyatt was born tom called him viejo, old man in spanish. it stuck for a few months and we still laugh about it. he's come a long way in four years and we love all the little things that make him our wyatt william.

most amazing photos are courtesy of sarah sorell, sorellimages.com

2010-01-22T07:20:00.005-06:00

the sun is just now coming up but the clouds only reveal a gray sky. thinking that tom and i are still asleep, the kids are in their room playing "family". this involves one of cassie's babies (usually crying or disobeying). cass is usually the mama and wyatt plays the role of brother or papa. they both pretend to be the baby when it comes to crying. i wish you could hear their conversation. their little voices are loaded with emotion and pretend maturity.

these are the moments that are wonderful to witness. since they think we're still sleeping they play in their room, giving us some extra sleep time before they come in our room with either one of two concerns: they are hungry or wyatt needs his bottom wiped. cassie is usually the carrier of the bottom news, as wyatt is sitting on the toilet. and they usually go to papa for this.

so why am i awake already if papa is the early bird? i've been sick lately, a subtle constant that lingers with me. i have trouble breathing, usually in the morning or later at night. so when i awoke at 6 this morning i decided to get up and change the look of canoeamericana.

here it is.

i know some of you check this because you live out of state and are interested in what's going on in our lives. or you want to make sure we're doing alright. we're doing alright. we've been better, but we've also been worse.

we're looking forward to today.

2009-09-27T08:34:00.004-05:00

tom and i took the kids to highlands, north carolina. some of our generous family have a home in the mountains and blessed us with this opportunity to get away. i've been filled with mixed emotions; the time together is wonderful and yet the reason we are here is painful. wyatt and cassidy are such fun, beautiful, smart children is a gift, which makes it hard to think about what our family would look like with zeke. i'm constantly healing every day, but sometimes it feels like i'm not making any progress at all.

*thanks to maas for letting us borrow her camera.

2009-09-10T12:42:00.002-05:00

have you ever thought about how hard it is to honestly answer the question, "how are you"? regardless of your situation right now, whether life is going good or rough, if someone asks you this question do you answer it honestly?

these last two weeks i think people have avoided this question with us. and rightly so. when people do ask i try to gauge the situation. if we are on the phone and i can tell this isn't meant to lead to in-depth conversation i answer, "i'm okay". but if someone is sitting on my couch and asking me this and i think they're really interested then i'll tell them.

some moments i'm not sad. and this is a weird feeling. shouldn't i be crying? shouldn't i be in bed, unable to face the day? but anyone who has been in a similar situation knows, with a husband, two small children and a community to be a part of, i can't hole up and cut myself off from the day. i have to participate at some level. so to look at me, say at sam and cassie's wedding, you might not know what's really going on.

but there's more.

we took the crib and changing table out of the baby's room last week. when i put stuff away in his room it was too hard to see where he slept. we leave the door shut to his room anyway, but somehow not seeing the crib makes it easier.

the cards came in a flurry the first two weeks, people sending their prayers and love. in some way it made the day better, knowing people were thinking about us, taking a little time out to let us know they care. the cards are slowing down and it's a reminder that people go on in their normal routines for the most part, experiencing small moments of sadness and then back to life.

we experience sadness every day. i'll speak from my experience over the last two and a half weeks. there's an overlying feeling of sadness, almost emptiness. waking up in the morning, taking a shower, being alone with nothing to do, these times create spaces for the sadness to come in, to remind me that my life hasn't gone on. that something has happened to my dreams and plans. i'm praying that at some point i'll be able to accept this change, to live with it.

but for now, if i have a conversation longer than ten minutes i know it will come up, missing zeke, wondering what the Lord is doing with this time of grief and emptiness, speculating on what could have been. be prepared, if you ask me how i'm doing, you might just get tears.

2009-08-29T14:03:00.003-05:00

Zeke became uncommonly fussy on August 23th and we took him to the hospital to find he had an infection spreading throughout his body. After several horrible hours and a transfer to Children's Mercy Hospital, Zeke died early Monday morning. We know that G0d is in control and are trusting that He will be with us in our pain. We are grieved beyond words and would appreciate your prayers.

2009-08-18T21:54:00.003-05:00

he's here! ezekiel "zeke" john. he came friday august 14th at 11.26pm. i went in friday evening because of a fever and headache and the doctor decided to break my water and get things going. it was a great labor (if that's possible) and by the time he came he was healthy and my fever was gone. when the doctor said, "oh he's big" i thought, not really. yup, 9 lbs 2 oz big. i had no idea and i'm thankful; he didn't seem any bigger than the other two kids who weren't more than 7 and a half pounds. we struggled with the fever some through the weekend, but we're doing well now and he's fitting in great with our family. he's following in wyatt and cassie's footsteps: he sleeps and eats like a champ. i am thankful.

we had great help from family and aunt rachie watched wyatt and cass all weekend so we could take care of our new little one. they were so excited to be with her and i'm sorry to say they will miss her terribly. i'm no substitute for her, but hopefully i can work my way back. they are very excited about their brother, touching him and kissing him. wyatt tells him, "it's okay, baby bruder" when he cries and cassie tries to give him his pacifier all the time. i think it's going to be a great transition to three kids.

we're really thankful he's here for so many reasons. he came just before the 14th ended, meaning he was born on aunt lauren's birthday. we are so glad they are birthday buddies, i know it will be a special bond. and he was born on sabbath and it really did mean i could rest, even if it wasn't sleep. and since he's an august baby we will get to celebrate my mom and aunt's birthday with him, as well as harrison's. plus, if he had been in there one more week he would have been even bigger! so many other reasons to celebrate, but that's it for now. once i get a battery that works for my camera i will post more pictures. in the meantime, here are a few from big cassie, who was smart enough to bring a camera (good work cass!)

2009-07-07T13:52:00.005-05:00

the garden is growing and so am i. i have approximately 7 weeks left and the baby keeps getting bigger. no, he does not have a name yet. he's moving a lot these last weeks and our last diagnosis was that he is head down. i pray he stays this way.

as for the garden, i went out the other day to find two of my cucumber plants completely wilted. this is a sad occassion, especially as one of the wilted plants had my first big cucumber on it. i did some research and i found this:

cucumber beetles. these beetles spread something called bacterial wilt of cucurbits. i saw one today but he got away before i could smash him to bits. i am angry. so i sprayed all of my plants with a little soapy water and prayed that everything would continue on in good health. the good news is these guys don't usually affect watermelon plants, so the new flowers that arrived this week should turn into melons.

the cherry tomatoes are ripening and the plants keep getting taller and throwing off more fruit. the regular tomato plants have outgrown me. even the peppers, which had a late showing last year, are producing fruit that is almost ready to eat.

susan replanted her peas and did a section of radishes and they are all sticking their heads up. she covered them with some wire and we're hoping the rabbits, or whoever it was, can't get at them this time.

i guess you could say we are currently on the offensive in the garden, ever since the attack against the peas. don't mess with us!

2009-06-20T20:08:00.003-05:00

my big brother celebrates his birthday today. i've always looked up to him and adored him and now my kids do too. (check out wyatt's shiner. he and noah had a head-on collision today while playing with water guns. i guess guns really are dangerous.)