cola beans and coffee

i do have days where i feel like i'm on the up-and-up. the sun is shining, i wake up with energy, the kids are cheery and i'm ready for the day. those days are usually closely followed by days of exhaustion and sickness. it's a cycle i'm ready to get out of. i'm willing to jump off if i know i'll land safely. i'm trying weird things to feel better, all of them experiments to see what works: sucking on slices of cola beans from africa; chewing crystalized ginger; starting my day with a cup of black coffee (you'd be amazed at how many days this has actually helped); not eating; eating all the time. i can't find a pattern that works.

for instance: sunday, monday and tuesday were days of shear busyness, cooking food and making costumes for purim events. i did alright those three days and ended up with some great food and cute costumes (photos to follow shortly). but i woke up this morning, begrudgingly, with a headache, a queasy stomach and what feels like a bladder infection. after mustering up the energy to change diapers and feed the kids i emptied the dishwasher and folded some clothes. then off to the coffee shop with lauren and maeret, where i consumed a small mocha and an asiago bagel with cream cheese. 10am. feeling a lot better. who can say if it's the food or the friends. we stayed there for a long time, then rushed home for lunch and naps for the kids. while they slept and tom stayed home i went to whole foods and hy-vee. came home, hung out with maasen and ate a sandwich. 4 pm. i felt good during that in between time but once i sat down to eat i thought to myself, i could go to bed right now. 4:30pm. uh-oh. unload groceries, make dinner, feed the family, have people over, yikes, i'm spent. and the headache makes another appearance and the bladder is still angry. so why am i writing? go to bed, leah! get some sleep so tomorrow you'll wake up smiling. because we all know tom isn't going to get up, he may have just gone to bed...

good night.

right after i shower...