Tuesday

one night sam and some other boys came over to watch soccer with tom. they found the starburst jelly beans and started to snack on them. the candy quickly dwindled in number until i told them to stop eating them. the next time sam showed up he got an earful from little cass.he took one for the team. and then the absence of his beard settled in and she had to get her mind around that.
since cass did such a good job being brave in the swimming pool she got a special treat: spongebob squarepants on a stick. she only ate about three bites, but truly enjoyed the gumball eyes. some photos of her enjoying a sweet treat.
our kids' knowledge of spongebob comes from uncle joe. the only time they've seen the show is with him. we would see spongebob stuff somewhere and it always reminded wyatt of "unka jo".

Sunday

canoeamericana is about our family, even as it changes in size. as i'm changing the look i scrolled down to see how the background looked and there he is, talking to maas. and playing on the bed. and squatting by the zi-zi plant. there he is. it's hard to see him smiling, but i love it. i hope you do, too.

i am going to keep canoeamericana about our family, our daily life. i recognize that our sadness is part of our lives; every morning we wake up thinking about him and we go to bed missing him. the 14th of every month is filled with longing and the 24th is covered in sadness. you can read about how we are journeying through this intense sadness, the absence of our sons, at http://www.mayhemakepeaceuponus.blogspot.com/, or by clicking on the link to the right, the world to come.

here on this blog i will post pictures and stories about our living, the moments with cassidy, our garden, our friends. feel free to scroll through and smile at wy-guy when you're missing him. he is a beautiful boy.

one day when i was grieving his absence and questioning the L-rd i said to big cass, i know that the L-rd gives and He takes away, but why? why did He give me such a wonderful boy only to take him away.

"to enjoy him." that's what she said. wisdom. don't let the confusion of why did G-d take wyatt from all of us separate you from experiencing the L-rd's love. He is mysterious and divine. His ways are not our ways. if they were then wyatt and zeke would be napping in their beds right now. but things have not played out my way. perhaps we need to ask the L-rd about what we are supposed to be learning from this sadness.

what are you learning?