canoeamericana is about our family, even as it changes in size. as i'm changing the look i scrolled down to see how the background looked and there he is, talking to maas. and playing on the bed. and squatting by the zi-zi plant. there he is. it's hard to see him smiling, but i love it. i hope you do, too.
i am going to keep canoeamericana about our family, our daily life. i recognize that our sadness is part of our lives; every morning we wake up thinking about him and we go to bed missing him. the 14th of every month is filled with longing and the 24th is covered in sadness. you can read about how we are journeying through this intense sadness, the absence of our sons, at http://www.mayhemakepeaceuponus.blogspot.com/, or by clicking on the link to the right, the world to come.
here on this blog i will post pictures and stories about our living, the moments with cassidy, our garden, our friends. feel free to scroll through and smile at wy-guy when you're missing him. he is a beautiful boy.
one day when i was grieving his absence and questioning the L-rd i said to big cass, i know that the L-rd gives and He takes away, but why? why did He give me such a wonderful boy only to take him away.
"to enjoy him." that's what she said. wisdom. don't let the confusion of why did G-d take wyatt from all of us separate you from experiencing the L-rd's love. He is mysterious and divine. His ways are not our ways. if they were then wyatt and zeke would be napping in their beds right now. but things have not played out my way. perhaps we need to ask the L-rd about what we are supposed to be learning from this sadness.
what are you learning?
8 comments:
I'm learning that when you feel like you got hit in the stomach so hard your knees are about to buckle underneath you, that God is the only one who can keep you standing.
I was thinking today that maybe when I see Wyatt again, I'll tackle him because I'll be so excited - and with our new bodies I could dive at him and we wouldn't get hurt.
Paul
So what I said stemmed from something you said after Zeke went to be with the L-rd. You said "at least we got to meet him" or something very similar. I am glad I got to meet both of your boys and that I will get to see them again.
I'm learning that love is love. Near or far. That I, we, feel the range of emotions of those we are connected to and love. Yes, they are dimmed and not fully felt or realized but they are still there. I was praising the L-rd this morning on my way to work for allowing our small group meeting with you guys to be delayed a week. Because of that I was able to hang out with Wyatt again. :D Big smile.
I'm learning that seeing someone you love hurting so much and knowing that you can't fix it, is one of the most painful things... it has put me one my knees for various reasons... one to weep and the other to intercede for you!
I love you and so glad you are going to continue to blog.
I'm learning that God wants to be so close, so deeply nestled into the core of my heart that He will do whatever it takes to get there. Pain included.
I am awed by you and your bravery. Really. Mostly though, I am awed at your faithfulness to continue to be in awe of Him...to be steadfast in knowing that He did not fail you and never will. I am humbled.
Carlye
i'm being taught that to really understand God I have to let myself be fully open to Him and His words. though sometimes what His word says does not always seem to be true, i know that it is. i must continue to press in and know Him more, to get everything that he wants to show me, even through tears and frustration.
sarah
I am learning that children are a blessing and not to take for granted the time I have with them. I am learning that they are not ours and to trust G-d with their future. I am learning to be thankful in all circumstances especially difficult ones with the children. I am learning to trust G-d with things that don't make sense to me but that I know to be true from his word. I am seeing through you guys that He will never leave us of forsake us.
I am learning . . .to bend my will to God's. Not an easy thing for me, but I know that not only does God know what's best for us, He knows what's BETTER for us. Love you, sweet Leah and Tom and Cassidy.
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