.canoe americana?

after months of putting it off and then a couple failed attempts, i have resigned myself to breaking cassidy of her pacifier addiction. it's an ugly situation and i'm not sure how the rest of the family will handlle it, but so far no casualties. at 6am i fed her and then tried to give her the pacifier. repeatedly. she did not want it. i wanted her to sleep, so i tried one more time and then gave up. i let her cry. i crawled back into bed. (mind you i had already fed cassidy and made tom's lunch at this point) i listened to her cry. waiting for wyatt to cry. she cried and then stopped. and then started crying again. and then stopped. then cried. i told myself, two more cries and i'll get out of bed. one...two. i got up and decided to be productive. oh no! not another productive day!

appropriately, as i listened to my daughter scream out for her beloved pac (soft c, pronounced "pass" and definitely not a binky) i turned on pedro the lion. david bazan's ep 'whole' seemed the most appropriate album. he wails about addiction on it, and quite wonderfully. after sitting on the sunporch where it was a little bit nice, and asking God for his grace to handle today and whatever happens, i entered the house welcomed by silence. no david bazan screaming "almost there" and no cass screaming about her missing pac. even wyatt was peacefully sleeping. or reading silently. i spent the morning reading 'copernicus and the jews' (daniel gruber) and then took a 5 minute nap.

now for round two...